Likely Fraud

Cocaine Bear is the story of a single mom who works two jobs, who loves her cubs and never stops she’s ripped on blow with the heart of a fighter. She’s a survivor.

Queen Who Never Was, More Like Best and Hottest Targaryen There Is. We started watching House of the Dragon, and it’s actually only watchable if assume every woman character is closeted for annoying succession reasons because my god all these men are utter FLOPS.

Pretty bleak to see claims of “security” used to inflate concession profits & create needless access issues/possible medical emergencies for folks. I guess it’s on me that I didn’t realize venue policies that ignore basic access would be in place to really make it a 2003 vibe!

Anyway think twice about seeing concerts UBC unless you want to be frisked by 20-something security guards and forced to disclose your private medical conditions and still have your emergency snacks confiscated. A disgusting retrograde policy when people can barely afford food.

Started slowly attending concerts (masked) & I’ve been startled by venue “security” policies. My dentist-prescribed mints were confiscated as “outside food” & security also tried to take my Imodium? No water bottles or drinks w/ caps. For a nostalgia concert with a 40+ audience?

I’ve had to deliver so much bad news lately that I’m considering starting a podcast where people can call in the awful news they dread sharing, I’ll narrate it & they can then send the link to everyone they need to know. It would be called “Well, sh*t. That’s just f*cking awful.”

I feel like I’m a mere one-five years away from the mature artistic woman style of dress where I wear a linen robe and a regular-sized xylophone as a necklace and everyone just showers me with respect.

Truly the most wholesome and relatable description of what coping with the pace of work/life has felt like the past three months.

don’t chat in cabs bc the time btwn things feels like the only time I get to myself lately. Today a cab driver asked me abt the outcome of sports game bc he was “so hungry last night [he] ate one slice of pizza too many & fell asleep at 7pm” & so legally, I had to befriend him.

The “’em” in this case refers to all of us and maybe especially that lady who tormented this calf with questionable violin playing to “lure her out to sea.” I’m sorry ma’am but it’s not a concert if the audience can’t figure out how to leave.

Get ‘em

As legacy media shrinks, the need for print/physical book review space becomes more urgent, and that’s why I suggest writing great one liners about books you’ve read in public bathroom stalls: I call it Loo Reads.

Unfortunately I was taught to feel self-worth through punishing levels of self-sacrifice and service (shoutout to immigrant upbringings and the church!!!) so I may not be cut out for villainy. If any nightmare people want to mentor me about ruining lives please reach out.

Having spent the majority of my sentient life solving problems I didn’t create (& spent a truly futile amount of time trying to prevent) I would love to just fully stop caring & BECOME THE PROBLEM for once. Seems fun, honestly to be selfish, ignore others needs & create chaos!

@marikapea Librarians save the day, as ever!

@cynaragee Oh hell yeah it's still online cargocollective.com/joeystories/Pa…

“Highsmith loved cats, and she bred about 300 snails in her garden at home in Suffolk, England. Highsmith once attended a London cocktail party with a "gigantic handbag" that "contained a head of lettuce and a hundred snails" which she said were her "companions for the evening.”

@marikapea ‼️ WHAT ‼️ well, I do now!

@cynaragee Do you know Joey Comeau's short story that is literally about going back in time to meet ("meet") Patricia Highsmith?

(She is a great writer & nightmare woman w/ many horrible political views and awful/harmful takes. I’m allowing myself to be briefly obsessed with the biographical detail of her bringing a huge purse full of lettuce & 100 live snails to a dinner party).

Q: “Where/when would you go if you had access to a time machine?” Stop at nothing to befriend Patricia Highsmith. I start by crashing the infamous Night of 100 Handbag Snails dinner party. In this scenario I arrive on the scene in the Back to the Future III locomotive, natch.