sweet dee

hi @BernieSanders I made this and I hope you like it

I’m a triple threat (listening to TTPD, watching one day, reading my year of rest and relaxation)

new year new me

@sylviecuckman real

@sylviecuckman did I miss a chapter??

@astoldbybacon mothers maiden name king?

Just thinking about how crazy it is that my ssn (143-650-765) is so close to my wife’s (153-651-778). It’s like the government knew.

Sometimes U just gotta throw up and move on

phone autocorrected “hitler” to “girlie” :/

oops just remembered I hate my nose!!

@astoldbybacon he shot a woman

Baseball fans, what’s the first thing you think of when you see this man?

the bravest thing a person can do is have a canker sore

@tea_moh should I buy calico critters

obsessed with the fact that i haven’t grown out of my teenage interests and instead are doubling down on them lol

one of the more wholesome discoveries from barbenheimer is that all my girlies bring little sweaters to the movies because we all get cold in the theater 🥺

the hunger games but it’s set in the love island villa

@astoldbybacon you’re so real for this one

Sexiest fruit=plum Least sexy dried fruit=prune

one nation, on god no cap

@astoldbybacon it’s almost plum season!!!

Cherries go incredibly hard

@tea_moh phoebe was so real when she said I’m 27 and idk who I am

phoebe was so real for that scream in i know the end

@astoldbybacon don’t be a guy who tweets about sports barber

what’s protocol for having a crush on your gynecologist

@astoldbybacon you’re just running from love

This worked great on Facebook where you’d get creepy ads saying you should date your ex or a member of your family.