guterman

Tired of all these stupid rom-coms. And so is my best friend who I have feelings for but is dating the lawyer who's representing my ex-wife.

"Let me eat cake" - Donald Trump

It's funny how children see the world: upside down with their parents screaming at me to please be careful.

The secret to drawing horses is start drawing a dog and then halfway through pretend the dog is really, really rich.

the seven types of comedy: comedy as entertainment comedy as activism haha fancy man fell down comedy as artistic pursuit racism comedy as drama with zero comedy i have a mortgage now

stronger female characters is a good start but another thing that helps is writing very weak male characters. that’s what I’m going to do.

my favorite episode of seinfeld is when they bet who can go the longest without masturbating and one by one they all masturbate and you see it each time

video game tells me to take a break and go outside like that’s not also collecting coins & trying not to die

it’s a girl!!

THRILLER IDEA: A man finds stacks of money inside his burrito. We then cut to another man as he opens a briefcase to reveal carne asada. The man struggles to explain. He is shot through the head.

took a trip to los carneros in the heart of wine country. so beautiful out here but all i can think about is work

Kimberly Hébert Gregory was a beautiful soul. She brought Donna to life with such depth, and warmth, and joy. Her presence was rare. Her talent undeniable. May comfort surround those mourning her loss. Devastating news.

@PrestonHoover11 what does that mean?

@globalboxoffice The Germans love their Smurfs

@danguterman Smurfs!

In Germany, #JurassicWorldRebirth retakes the #1 spot at the box office in its 5th weekend, seeking 185k tickets! Just INSANE! #FantasticFour, which was #1 last weekend, had a massive drop to #4, sinking lower than #Smurfs!

@globalboxoffice @searcher_gold What’s today’s increase?

@searcher_gold I think It’s possible depending on today’s increase tbh

We nailed it! All of our late night domestic estimates were officially confirmed by studios today!💪🏻 #FantasticFour  made $11.7M #TheBadGuys2 made $9.2M #TheNakedGun made $6.3M!

@dicehacks watch it in theaters

what's the verdict on fantastic four folks toot or boot (is it good enough to watch in theaters is my real question)

@globalboxoffice Do you know what F4 is tracking for Tuesday? And what its international totals are?

#FantasticFour crossed the $100M mark at the overseas box office this Monday! Mexico is the biggest international market for F4.

If I was rich I'd have two hedge mazes. One from which there can be no escape. And one for more lighthearted affairs and casual mazing.

started collecting mirrors and it's either getting out of hand or I only have twelve