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Man United. Another conspiracy theory. I’m convinced Manchester United has a mandatory 72-hour cooling-off period before making any decision. Every. Single. Time. A player agrees personal terms? We wait. Medical booked? We wait. Medical completed? We wait. Photos done? We wait. Announcement? Maybe tomorrow. Meanwhile, another club signs a player, announces him, unveils him, puts him through media duties, and he’s already training before United posts a “Here we go” graphic. And it isn’t just transfers. Contract renewals drag on. Managerial decisions drag on. Player sales drag on. Even when the outcome feels obvious, United somehow finds another week to think about it. Remember De Jong? An entire summer. Branthwaite? Weeks of back and forth. Ugarte? Negotiated until the final days. Even straightforward deals somehow become month-long documentaries. Maybe it’s because every department has to sign off. Maybe it’s over-analysis. Maybe it’s bureaucracy. Or maybe the club genuinely believes that if you stare at a decision long enough, the price will magically change. At this point, I’m convinced Carrington has a giant button labelled “Delay another 48 hours.” Because no matter who’s in charge… …the one thing Manchester United has never failed to recruit is hesitation.