dan goodwin

LOLOLOL What a fucking joke

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with kids

Over the past 4 years, this city has seen consistent reductions in violence. This progress is why we continue invest in our Gun Violence Reduction Strategy (GVRS). Today, we’re announcing a new Youth Violence Reduction Initiative to apply the model of GVRS toward our young people

It took 340 rubber bands to destroy this printer

🍊Bubblicious Orange Gum (1988)

Floyd Mayweather never wore a pair of underwear twice. He employed someone full-time whose only job was sanitizing his car collection each morning. If a car hadn’t been wiped down, Mayweather wouldn’t touch it. The man spent $12,000 a week at one Japanese steakhouse. Every week. For years. At a party, he threw $50,000 into a swimming pool to watch strippers dive in after it. Floyd bought a $50,000 diamond-encrusted iPod. An $18 million watch with 260 carats of diamonds. A $10 million engagement ring for a woman who became his ex. The car habit got worse. Five Bugattis. Sixteen Rolls-Royces. A $5 million Koenigsegg. His assistant mentioned she’d just picked up his 33rd Mercedes from one dealership. Mayweather got tired of her borrowing his cars, so he bought her one too. Then came the jets. A $60 million Gulfstream for himself. A second one for $30 million because his entourage was annoying him on the first. The gambling was its own beast. $5.9 million on a single NBA game. Six figures on the Little Caesars Bowl. The Little Caesars Bowl. He averaged $100,000 a week in bets. One year he reportedly lost $50 million. Thieves broke into his house and walked out with $7 million in jewelry. Floyd kept spending. Then the IRS showed up wanting $22 million in unpaid taxes. Mayweather’s lawyers told a judge his wealth was “primarily illiquid.” Asked the court to please wait 60 days because another fight was coming and he needed the purse to cover the bill. He paid. Then bought the second jet. Now it’s 2026. The first jet is sold. A court authorized creditors to seize his Bugatti. His strip club owes back taxes. He still owes Logan Paul $1.5 million from four years ago. His team asked Showtime to open the books on his career earnings. Showtime said the records were destroyed in a flood. Mayweather’s plan to fix everything: fight a 59-year-old Mike Tyson. In the Congo. At age 49. Career earnings: $1.2 billion. Every line above is real.

People in Saudi Arabia are using Iranian Shahed drone sounds to prank each other. 😂

I’ll forever choose a hotel over an airbnb

Mike Johnson: Tonight we have created a new award. We are going to do something we've never done before. We will honor him with a new award. He is the first ever recipient of the America first award. That is this beautiful golden statue here, appropriate for the golden era.