Dan Willis

Adelaide Fringe is bouncing, and this is my first tweet for almost a decade.. I think I'll now try and build an exclusive crowd of people that just dont want any tweets, and I'm old, I can't call them Posts!

My little lady, belting out a bit of @taylorswift13 #Swifty

Do Artists still think they can get away with doing #Adverts in #Japan and no-one in the west will notice? @rickygervais ???

Kerr-Plunk go #Lionesses ! #WomensWorldCup2023

My daughter asked me what it was like to be married. I told her to leave me alone & when she did; I asked her why she was ignoring me. #oldjokereboot #meaningofwife

My Wife thinks I’m too old fashioned. But I reckon we’ve got good alchemy. #oldjokereboot

@v8gaz To be honest, your reply to the tweet is the most action i’ve had on Twitter for years! I used to Tweet constantly, i now average once a month.. I’m now gonna wallow in my glory of one response!!!

@danwillis007 I am pleased to see that this has zero likes.

Has anyone got any information on how i can raise enough money to buy a plastic figurine from the Marvel franchise? (it’s for a Thing).

Quick impersonation of @QBEaus "All of our consultants are currently busy, continue to hold".. #worstcustomerservice 95mins waiting so far, 64mins yesterday, got kicked off the line by the system at 5.20pm, called right back "Our call centre closes at 5pm".. #JoyNotJoy

From the 2nd to 4th June I'm Bringing my two favourite shows to the BYRON BAY COMEDY FESTIVAL!! BEST OF BRITISH (#MelbourneComedyFestival Most Popular show). And THE ASHES (#England V #Australia in multi award winning #Comedy) byroncomedyfest.com #Byronbay #comedyfestival

Yeah whatever… Apparently i’ve got unlimited free speech now, can’t think of anything to say, and i’m happy about that..

@HamleysOfficial check this out.. My little one has insisted as part of our trip from #Australia that we come to #Hamleys.. and she almost thought it wasn’t going to happen!! loved it, but packed.. so am bringing her back early tomorrow to see if she can peruse easier!! :-)

Off to @TheComicsLounge to complete my weeks worth of headline gigs.. it’s been a rocking week, only thing that can slow us down is #Australia kicking off at 9pm.. Howsabout #Tunisia just concede the game, then everyone can just come to the gig! #WorldcupQatar2022

According to #Elon, jokes are now legal on Twitter.. i’m off then.. Can’t exist in such crazy times..

@dotunadebayo World Cup fits better in Method of Modern Love by #Hallandoats W-O-R-L-D C-U-P it’s the world cup.. And now i can’t get it out of my head..

@ColinMurray surely Belouis Some.. Imagination.. Though I may have spelled his name wrong

I’m two episodes into #RingsofPower, and I’m beginning to feel that this is to #The #LordOfTheRings what “Caravan of Courage” was to #StarWars But as a wounded veteran of 7 seasons of #The100 I shall be sticking with it to the bitter end..

@SeaWorld @seaworldresort @cityofgoldcoast Well, making the trip to Sea World has been a tad disappointing for the kids.. #Nickelodeon land is pretty much shut.. I’m now even more grumpy than usual..

@SeaWorld well, we made the trip… and paid the money… And nearly everything’s closed.. Banana’s Closed, Jellyfish Closed, Carousel Closed, Bus/Boat closed, ..#Nickelodeon land really knows how to disappoint a 7yr old!

I’ll be in #Manchester #Airport for a few hours, if anyone fancies a pint.. Bonus- I can most likely sign people into the Business Lounge… #manchesterairport #homewardbound #Edfringe