Dare ⚫

I just woke up my lawyer at midnight because I'm off oxygen long enough to tell him I need to make sure some of my life insurance payout money goes to paying for my dog's cancer surgery, and wow that sentence must be what it feels like to be a living country music song.

I'm glad we only live once coz I can't do this shit again

@HARPERMADI_ I can hook you up, I have a great coma guy

i just wanna be put into a coma for valentine’s day

A 33 yr old #Idaho woman with #breastcancer dies in the ER after waiting 20 hrs for an ICU bed that never became avail. The hospital was overwhelmed w/ patients who have #COVID19, 82% of whom are unvaccinated. Our choices have repercussions. #GetVaccinated spokesman.com/stories/2022/j…

Insurance Company Annoyed Customer Doesn’t Realize They Were Just Being Polite When They Said They’d Cover Healthcare Bills bit.ly/3IDg1pr

Heartbreaking: This Woman Is Nostalgic For A Few Months Ago When Things Were Only Pretty Bad clickhole.com/heartbreaking-…

@_autumnkayy I curl in the fetal position and sob til my body hurts, then I pop an edible and order Taco Bell. What other coping mechanism is there 😂

My therapist asked me about my coping mechanisms and I just laughed like huh what coping mechanisms? I smoke weed and cry everyday?

@Adora_Belly However! Pussy the vagina likely derives from an Old Norse word meaning "pocket" that far pre-dates modern English. So while in their present form, pussy the cat came first, pussy the vagina has the older root word.

@Adora_Belly For some reason I felt the need to look up the actual etymology for this, and it looks like pussy the cat came first, entering modern English by the 1500s, while pussy the vagina took until the 1800s.

sorry for acting so strange & irregular it will happen again

@HARPERMADI_ He could do great in insurance though because this is a mildly more sexual version of how my health insurance responds every time I tell them I'm sick too

i told a boy i might have covid and he asked if a dick pic would make me feel better

a lot of rich people i know are constantly finding new ways to spend their money on themselves and a lot of broke people i know are constantly spending their money on each other

Oh you don’t like men crying? Well you’re gonna hate me

People tell me “keep that same energy” as if I actually have any energy

there’s more to life than just work. there’s also being tired

I used to love January, but now I just associate it as the month when my insurance deductibles reset and I'm especially broke and depressed. Abolish January (and the American healthcare insurance model lol)

@_autumnkayy Exactly. Plus it's really easy to ignore as a chore until it builds up, and then when I miss a spot it's too obvious and looks worse to me than if I hadn't dusted at all

@darekern Dusting is very verrryyyy tedious!!!! Especially if you have little trinkets?! Oh man I hate dusting too😹

What is your absolute least favorite cleaning chore?