DH

I just want to eat a McCain deep and delicious for dinner, is that too much to ask?!

@heyhibbie Fine, but just table salt. None of that fancy stuff.

My friend just called Cold Play the boiled chicken of music and he’s not wrong.

That empathetic look that people give you when you tell them you have to go to Service Ontario is what unifies Torontonians

I once (3 years ago) worked on a family Christmas event where I hired the actors. Tonight, someone ran up to me and said “hey, it’s me jangle, the elf!” and I’m my heart/head I said “Patrick - you can use your human name”.

Toronto, you are somehow cold and warm at the same time and I hate it

Is it even Toronto if there isn’t controversy with the mayor?

K, hear me out. What if… we just never stop being on holiday break?

BREAKING: Everyone loses in Ontario's municipal elections

@mmccormackk I did go for a smaller option but it does still take up quite a bit of space in our tiny bathroom

@dave_henry Is it one of those Tuski things that take up an entire bathroom they’re so large?

I bought a waterpik so I can neglect flossing in a more modern way

We used to have a normal amount of butter knives but recently there has been only one, and every day I think about where all the others may have gone and under what circumstances, and instead of just buying more I’ve accepted this single butter knife reality.

Remember Uber pool?

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Give @bellybustersub a Michelin star

Made it halfway through the day without spilling something on my shirt!

This might be the most Toronto tweet.

Okay, but explain to me why cheesecake is NOT an acceptable option for breakfast. I’ll wait.

When you’re drunk yet responsible, and you gotta get up early, don’t forget to set your calculator so your don’t sleep in.

@RealJezebelley Jonathon Pruitt, pictured here