dave marks

@SahilBloom Rats and hawks all the way baby. To any who think the hunter is pivotal: ‘100 RATS - run into his mouth!’ 1 hawk ‘take his EYES!’ Hunter wanders the arena clutching his optical chasms and swiftly becomes a snack for the laziest croc. NEXT

Important Thought Experiment You’re in an arena with: - 50 hawks - 10 crocodiles - 3 brown bears - 15 wolves - 1 hunter w/ rifle - 7 buffalo - 10,000 rats - 5 gorillas - 4 lions Pick 2 to defend you. The others attack you. Goal is to survive 1 hour. What do you pick and why?

@nathanoregan He’s concerned for your voice. Little does he know the vape is the source of your husky rasp…

Just got asked in a bar by a lad to stop vaping. Outside. In the smoking area.

@virginmedia I have just spent 96 minutes on a call (around 90 of those on hold) only to have been transferred to the wrong department who then hung up on me. I'd like to close my account please. Any way this can happen without another hour and a half on hold?

Brilliant and powerful.

Super proud to have created an amazing songbook with @justinsandercoe during lockdown. Any mums or dads out there who wants to learn ukulele and share the experience with your kids - check it out! justinguitar.com/modules/childr…

This has already made my day and I’m still in bed.

Brutal

On Meghan Murphy's podcast, I discuss everything that's happening right now: race, the riots, the police, etc. youtu.be/8C-VrsK93GE

I'm racist. 👍🏻

For 8 minutes and 46 seconds, George Floyd cried out for his mama and begged to be able to breathe. Watch. Listen. Share. This is why we protest.

I missed this. Wow

#cummnings has unwittingly created incredible solidarity between the UK public & nurses. Not Covid nurses -the ones in A&E who listen to fanciful stories of how naked curtain hanging and a small slip lead to a lightbulb getting lodged in one's arse. They all nod. Now we all nod.

Did NI get it's deaths down through careful application of hygiene, social distancing and the incredible efforts of frontline workers? Nope. God (specifically Catholic God) did it for old Mary here because she lit a few candles. Thanks @BBCNews

@RickParfittJnr @davemarks1

#AvengersEndgame Just stop what you’re doing and enjoy listening to the #AvengersEndgame opening night crowd react to Captain America wielding Thor's hammer. CHILLS.

correction of the day

How to medical

If Trump acted 2 weeks sooner, 90% of U.S. COVID-19 deaths could have been prevented

In The Air Tonight - Phil Collins - Awesome Cover Version! youtu.be/tp0Iivy7ZxI via @YouTube This was a lot of fun! @jowebbuk @davemarks1 @PhilCollinsFeed #lockdowncollaboration #loveabitofphil #oneofthegreatpopwriters #andwhatavocalist! #aswellasashithotdrummer Happy Easter x

Back in those days it was more C4 than 5G. twitter.com/shockproofbeat…