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BREAKING: Jimmy Kimmel just delivered the White House Correspondents' Dinner roast Trump was too scared to face — and it’s BRUTALLY HILARIOUS!
This year, the annual White House Correspondents' Dinner has abandoned its long-standing tradition of featuring a comedian to host the event and deliver a fiery roast of the incumbent president and their administration.
Given Donald Trump’s boycott of any dinner where he might have to face the slightest bit of mockery, it was the only way to get him to return to the scene of his previous humiliations, most notably from the rapier wit of Barack Obama back in 2011.
According to late-night host Jimmy Kimmel, Trump banned comedians from the Dinner because, as Kimmel put it, "our president is a delicate snowflake with the thinnest fat skin of any human being ever."
So, Kimmel did the roast anyway — presenting it as the Alternate White House Correspondents' Dinner from the "Trump Kimmel Center in Washington, DC" in a subtle jab at the MAGA alternate Super Bowl Halftime show.
It was everything Trump could possibly fear.
The opening of Kimmel’s faux routine set the tone immediately: "I haven't seen this much black since every page of the Trump Epstein files." He then began to skewer the narcissist-in-chief — and select members of his administration — with barbs designed to highlight every major character flaw that Trump pretends doesn’t exist
On Trump's ego: "The president didn't want me to tell any jokes about him tonight, but he also didn't want to pay me $130,000 to shut up. So here we are. Sorry, mushroom d**k."
On Trump's Jesus complex: "Every time he walks into a room, people say, 'Christ, he's back.' Who did your makeup? Kraft Singles?"
On Trump's legacy: "He passed new incentives for oil and gas. He put the brakes on solar and wind. That will be your legacy, sir — breaking wind and passing gas."
On Trump's Epstein connection: "30 years ago, you were just some rich guy on Jeffrey Epstein's private jet out of Teterboro. But you worked hard, stayed friends, shared some wonderful secrets. And because of that, you were able to fly on that plane seven more times. Dreams really do come true."
On Melania: "Mrs. Trump, you have a glow like an expectant widow. She's planning to celebrate her birthday at home, the same way she always does — looking out a window and whispering, 'What have I done?'" And: "Melania's documentary had a score of 10% on Rotten Tomatoes, which is a website named after her husband's testicles."
On Kash Patel: "Can we get Kash a vodka soda and a booster seat? I'm not saying Kash Patel has a problem, but his designated driver is Pete Hegseth."
On Pete Hegseth: "Pete's hair has more oil in it right now than the Strait of Hormuz. Later on, Pete's going to read us a Bible passage from Pulp Fiction, so stick around."
On RFK Jr.: "Years ago, he wrote in his diary that he pulled his car over to carve the penis out of a raccoon. His son asked why. He said, 'Because I'm a f---ing psychopath. Now get out of this car and go get measles.'"
Kimmel concluded his alternate reality roast by presenting another made-up award of the type that the insecure president loves so much: the "inaugural Burger King of Comedy Gold Award," which was presented to "Donald J. Leno Trump."
Trump may have gotten the White House Correspondents' Association to ban comedians at their annual dinner — but the comedy happened anyway, thanks to Jimmy Kimmel.
Please like and share this post if you think a president hiding from jokes is funnier than any joke a comedian could tell.
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