Funky cold McDLC

Sex so bad the Oompa Loompas sang a song about it.

@patriottakes "You Keep Using That Word, I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means"

Lauren Boebert: “Climate change is absolutely real. It happens 4 times every year, and we’re not surprised by it. In Colorado, sometimes it happens 4 times in day.”

@PresTrumpTS The obese and stable emperor still has no clothes.

@RNCResearch Stop embarrassing yourselves.

Literally no one wants to talk to Joe Biden

Meanwhile....LeBron James just got paid to tell us that greasy ass ruffles are sexy to eat and that's while I'll never stop the "fuck you" You're welcome.

@laurenboebert Are you really this stupid or just depending on your followers to be?

You know how you unfreeze frozen windmills? By sending up a helicopter that shoots out chemicals onto the blades. You need fuel for the helicopter. Keep that in mind when thinking how “green” windmills are.

Hey you guys. Rebel Wilson lost some weight! You heard it here first

No.

Ask me what I'm doing for Thanksgiving one more time tonight motherfucker.

I don't believe Ice Cube ever got a triple double. Maybe a triple cheeseburger.

Just one more drink babe then I'll join you in bed. Me lying.

I'm American so I like to play "the floor is covid".

If 2020 has given me nothing else, I know what I would look like as a walking dead cast member.

Paris Hilton? Isn't she dead?

I hope they're working on the next generation of flashlights

You're either a choke guy or you're not. No faking that one gents.

200k dead. Our great leader just told white supremacists to stand back and stand by. Ashes are falling on my head as I stand outside smoking a cig. I really thought the apocalypse would be more dramatic than this.

"We'll talk" is the new fuck right off.

When I feel alone and that no one cares about me I always say goodnight to the internet to make sure they're laughing at me too.