Buttsman

@AmiEverAfter Love this kind of insight!

@magachrchpastr @jenneccentric Prayer Force One is so important to Christianity that right now, church leaders are considering expanding the trinity to include Prayer Force One as another essence of God.

@jenneccentric Ooooh yeah about that. If they taxed my church that would make it more difficult for me to afford my Prayer Force One private aircraft by which I share the gospel and also take numerous family vacations. So, that's gonna be a no from me.

Tax the churches

@jarvis_best I’m just glad that they didn’t waste our time by posting the hinged twerking videos

I will be monitoring this situation until further notice. Thank you.

@chutneylife I just assumed that they swapped faces like in that documentary.

Is it just me or this looks like if John Travolta and Nicholas Cage had a kid?

Greg Maddux won 4 straight Cy Young awards. During that time, he pitched more complete games (37) than he allowed HRs (33)

@chutneylife I thought it was going to $1,000

Charts are so stupid. Just buy $INTC because it’s going to $200

@FiSurgi Do you have it on video? I am interested in hearing what you said!!

I maybe biased but I think my commencement speech was better.

@jamiejamesco @Broncos @NFL I heard that he likes the city, but also it’s located a safe distance from his family and his wife’s family.

@Broncos @NFL I still find it funny that Peyton Manning calls Colorado his home even though he played in Indiana for 13 years and Denver, Colorado for 4 years

Let's see what's on TV! 📺

@CommodEXPERT That sounds like quite the accomplishment!!

It’s awful just trying to share your commodity expertise and receive DM’s like this.

@johnny_danziel Daniel Tiger is allergic to peaches, so clearly she just copied that joke

just remembered that my girl friend told me the other night that she’s allergic to mangos and thought that is the most made up allergy god could think of

@mountainwesttax I’ve liked going in the mornings on Wednesdays or Thursdays, but I’ll try Fridays to change things up.

@brockpierson @SaintRoderick I’m reading this tweet on one right now

Did you ever own or play the Sega Game Gear?

@mountainwesttax Been waiting so long for this tweet!!

just made $400 paper trading shit cos for 20 minutes does anyone want to buy my CPA firm

Bluey is OUT and Peppa Pig is IN at my house. As a father, I don’t want to be compared to Bandit (imaginative, ideal millennial dad). I am much more comfortable with the pace being set by Daddy Pig (slob, Brexit-coded chud).

@mountainwesttax I’m thinking that you can change the Claude personal preferences to tell it to not suck

the corporate elite woke media won’t let me use Opus 4.7 to photoshop away my cellulite

@rumiiihere Every

Name a job where all the employees are sleeping with each other

@jhare727 Probably peed on his feet while making fun of him, too

@ReaperCapital I just threw up in my mouth

Remember when all you fccking idiots thought SARAH SNOOK was hot? sickens me to think about

@nick_underhill Who replaces the energy of Demario and Alontae? Not many people can get up for noon games. Will the youth help them or hurt them this season?

@ReaperCapital All those spa appointments will destroy a marriage…if only she would have listened to you and not go to the spa

My wife left me