David Cumberbatch

Most coaches don’t struggle with parents because they don’t care. They struggle because they don’t know how to deal with it without making things worse. So nothing gets said, a comment from the sideline, a shout during the game or a reaction after a mistake. You notice it, but often you let it go.Addressing it feels like confrontation and confrontation risks relationships. Here’s the problem, the longer it goes unchecked… the more it becomes normal. Once it’s normal, you’re no longer leading the environment. Parents aren’t the issue, often it's the lack of clarity. In youth sport, parents play a huge role in shaping the environment children experience but without clear expectations, that influence drifts. I put together a simple Parents Code of Conduct to help coaches set standards early, so you don’t have to keep fixing problems later. Comment “PARENTS” and I’ll send it across.👇

Seeing the video of Robert Sanchez telling the Chelsea fans to relax as it was only half time, made me want to talk about something that has been on my mind for a while: why football stadiums are becoming more impatient, more toxic and polarised. The pandemic changed our routines and it accelerated a transformation that was already happening in society: overnight, our lives moved onto screens. We watched sport through devices, we debated online, we consumed information in fragments and, importantly for this point, we lived inside a constant stream of opinions. And with that, something else grew stronger: extremisation. We have become less able to accept what doesn’t match our own perception. The world has turned into a place where difference is a threat and disagreement feels personal.  Even when those opinions are built on incomplete information, we treat them as unquestionable truths. The most important voice is no longer the most informed one, but the loudest one, the strongest in the moment. And football, as always, reflects society. In stadiums now, we increasingly see impatience that would have been unthinkable years ago. Fans protesting a team even before half-time. Whistling after one mistake, even teams that are top of the table. Demanding changes immediately, as if football were a video game and not a complex sport shaped by confidence, form (both appearing in waves during a campaign), injuries, personalities, the limits of a squad or the finances. We forget that coaches work every day with these players. That they know the realities behind the scenes. That progress is not always instant. But patience has become rare, because the modern world trains us to expect immediate solutions. What’s worse is that creating a toxic atmosphere no longer feels like a problem for many supporters. The priority becomes: “I want what I want, and I want it now.” Even if it damages the team. Even if it poisons the environment. Even if it turns the stadium into a place of tension instead of support. I cannot think of anything worse than your own fans chanting, “you are going to be sacked in the morning.” This phenomenon is particularly noticeable in England right now, where protests and frustration inside grounds are becoming more common. Perhaps it is less frequent in Spain, where there is still — sometimes — a different relationship with suffering, with time, with process, with football clubs and the role of fans. At Real Madrid, the whistling to the team lasted a game and it was a protest against the sacking of Xabi Alonso, or a message to the players. The following game, they had moved on. I feel that is legitimate. But the trend is spreading.  The truth is hardly any club lives in happiness anymore. And I feel it is not because football has changed dramatically, but surely because society has. The modern fan experience is shaped by constant noise, constant judgement, constant outrage. And football, which used to be an escape, has become another space where people project frustration and impatience. It’s not really about the manager. Or the player. Or even the result. What we are hearing is basically about the world we have become. Although I do feel there is another way.  I know none of this is new. But how about if we thought we might not be right. Someone else might be. Or changing an opinion. Or listening a bit more. Or considering we might not know everything. And respect our differences.

This advice will change your life.

𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋-𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 | AS London 1-3 Brimsdown A tough result to swallow. We controlled the game, created chance after chance and played some of our most attacking football this season. The boys will be gutted not to have put the game to bed in the first half. Individual mistakes across the goals cost us but that doesn’t take away from the quality of the performance or the intent we showed from the first whistle. There were huge positives: new signings settling in well, the football flowing and young Ruben stepping up with passion and clarity reminding everyone that football doesn’t need to be complicated when you play with heart. We take the learning, we take the belief and we push forward. The performance was there and the results will follow!

The next generation of coaches won’t be defined by how loudly they speak but by how deeply they listen. ⇢ They’ll trade clipboards for curiosity. ⇢ Less shouting, more shaping. ⇢ Less telling, more trusting. The future coach will understand that tactics come second to connection that before you can develop a player, you have to understand the person. They’ll create sessions that feel like playgrounds, not pressure cookers.Where mistakes aren’t punished, they’re studied. ⛔ Where effort is noticed, and ego isn’t needed. Data will matter, but never more than dialogue. They’ll use tech to support decisions, not replace intuition. And the measure of progress won’t be league tables or likes but how many players still love the game at 16 and beyond. ➥ The future coach will coach with players, not at them. They’ll see wellbeing as performance’s foundation, and emotional intelligence as the sharpest tool in their kit. They’ll know that equality doesn’t mean giving everyone the same it means giving each child what they need to grow. Their sessions will sound different too. ➟ More questions. ➟ More laughter. ➟ More silence when players are solving the problem themselves. And when parents watch from the sidelines, they won’t see a dictator with cones. They’ll see a guide, helping children learn how to think, how to fail, how to recover, and how to lead. That’s the real future of coaching producing people who stay in love with the game long after the final whistle. Because every coach from the volunteer at grassroots, to the academy developer, to the first-team manager is a custodian of someone’s sporting journey. ➱ At the foundation stage, the mission is joy, curiosity, belonging, and freedom. ➱ At the development stage, it’s challenge, helping players test themselves, make mistakes, and discover what resilience really feels like. ➱ And at the performance stage, it’s leadership, creating environments that grow competitors who can think, adapt, and overcome. ⚠️ Love of the game should never fade, it should evolve. From playground passion to professional purpose. The best coaches will understand that competitiveness isn’t something you impose it’s something you nurture at the right time, in the right way. They’ll know when to protect, when to push, and when to step aside. Because the real measure of success won’t just be how many reach the top but how many reach their potential without losing who they are along the way.