dell(notcomputer)

I suppose expecting the apocalypse to happen quicker than anything else humanity tries to accomplish together was foolish.

Life is hard, it’s harder if your stupid!

@reynoldsgareth I mean, a Super Bowl Victory and then Home Alone-ing him for the Disney world trip would be fine too.

@DanKennedy_NYC This is the type of missive that reminds the regular why he frequents a dive.

#MyXAnniversary We broke up. Get the net! m.youtube.com/watch?v=RJRvPm…

@PaweSasko My choom, when you leave H10 with Jackie to go see Vic you fall through the earth. Please check the very center of the right lane for mysterious black holes. Tanx. Also; hour 3500 coming soon. I feel like a night citizen.

My chooms, patch 2.02 for #Cyberpunk2077 is live! 🔥 We have put significant effort to catch all the most important culprits and deliver solutions. Please, let us know my dears if there is anything else we can still do for you. Much love, enjoy! ❤️

coming here is starting to feel like going back home for the holidays.

this is gorgeous and hurts my feelings. spotify.link/NzzP5JmsDDb

@merrilymaralie If this scenario isn’t optioned for a sitcom the world is broken.

Huh. Apparently the ‘Free Market’ market needs bumpers.

I hate that this is the only place I can let go of a thought like, Tony the Tiger but he’s mad - “Grrrrrrrr Eat Frosted flakes!”

@samsparrr The marital Bed is when their beds fuck and make a super bed.

question: why do people say marital bed? if two people are married and they share a bed i feel like that could be easily inferred.

@danbenjamin Hello. What does no sandwich mean?

You can tell if a child's parents' love them if they cut the sandwich diagonally or not.

@coreybehnke Literally every team but the chiefs and wherever Brady is.

Ok so the Jets and who else?

@AaronNagler Ladies. Gentlemen. Anyone in between and beyond. I present to you AARON MOTHERFUCKIN NAGLER. May you and your ilk never draw his ire. May his burns flame on until the sun expires and when it does may his fire relight it. Bow now before the transplanted Midwestern flame!

I don't know what the "right situation" is for Aaron Rodgers to go win another MVP, but I'm guessing it isn't in a new building where no one knows the hand signals.

It legitimately is quite good.

@samsparrr @prepartynap Their apartment is a Kings Cake.

@prepartynap tiny plastic babies everywhere. it's the only way.

so, my friends who just moved to the neighborhood LOVE to host. they try to have us over at least once a week, which is very sweet, but also what tiny weird object should i start to hide in their home every time i’m there? suggestions welcome!!!

@AaronNagler You and me both, brother

Christ I’m old.

I have so many thoughts that have no place but here.

Ben said we only had to pretend to be wealthy for a night and here I am twenty years later… #deathcabforeldermillenials