Dick Lester

My man

OPS next to the names instead of batting average. What happened to the game I love?

Aisle seat < Middle seat but I’m the last person to board and I get to watch the light fade from two strangers’ eyes

This is 100% why the Sox lost tonight.

God saw me go on a Diamond Dynasty heater (4-0 I’m him) when I should’ve been doing my homework so he smited me with the biblical “Seeing One’s Shirtless Reflection in the TV Between Innings”. Yikes. Pretty sure Job suffered the same fate. #stillgonnaplaya5thgame #wbctyleroneill

@MaxLuvsUAA Real ball-knowers (@tonytw0t1mes) remember that this was my original pfp, changed it when I started to blow up. Back to my roots now - I’m done hiding.

@dicklester55 Love the new PFP, Dick! #switchup

🚨FRAUD ALERT🚨 Don’t even need the AI Checker for this one. ChatGPT em dashes??? In 2026??? Kid’s career was off to a hot start, too. Damn shame. No place for cheaters in this community.

Love the confidence, but there is now an absurd amount of self-inflicted pressure on this kid. Best believe the burnerverse will not be kind if he can’t back up this kind of talk.

Emory: Adam Geller - Senior - RHP Really tried to find a way to make this about Smallwood so I could make a Mitch Bigdick joke, but Geller’s numbers can’t be ignored. Kid’s the truth, not much else to it. P.S. shout out to Ryan Henry for the creepiest roster photo of all time.

Can’t sleep + have a Twitter account = Each UAA team’s biggest difference maker coming down the stretch:

NYU: Bruno Damiani - Senior - 3B I’ve been scratching my head all year as to why The Little Leggings Man won’t make this guy an everyday starter. 16 total ABs for a career .313 hitter??? Make it make sense, Doug! Great ‘stache too. Huge fan of you, Bruno.

CWRU: Eric Colgrove - Sophomore - RHP I know, I know. He fell apart against UChicago and dropped a stinker against John Carroll. But I just can’t get over the Marietta or Emory performances. The glasses should bother me, but they only make me like him more. #istillbelieveineric

Brandeis: Bobby Quill - Sophomore - RF Take away the Case series and Quill is the UAA MVP front runner. I fully believe the Judges go as he goes, and I’ll be on the edge of my seat as he tries to power his club through the absolute gauntlet of a final 2 weeks they’re headed for.

WashU: Lucinda Laughlin - Sophomore - Pinch Runner/Absolute Rocket Sources tell me that the Bears - looking to address a lack of speed - have signed this 2x UAA Track Athlete of the Week. Look for her to steal plenty of bags this weekend. (And maybe SS Noah Koong’s heart)

UChicago: John Butka - Senior - RHP Takes a special kind of guy to be in the running for Cy Young and Worst Hairline Award at the same time, but luckily for the Roons Butka is that guy. Not much to say about his stats that hasn’t already been said. Stud.

- CWRU athletic training staff - NYU coach purple leggings - WashU Friday guy integrity/loyalty - Brandeis fan section - Literally everything about UChicago except their top two arms - Does Emory even exist - NYU coach purple leggings again

A great marker of how soft (for lack of a better word) your school’s students are: On a rainy day, go out and count how many umbrellas you can see on campus. I myself caught 8 on my 5-minute walk to class today. I really thought better of us. #utterwokenonsense

Team-issued parka in Game On. #cbtm #bangthegavel

Uber that smells like cigarettes > Uber that smells like cologne/air freshener #5starsformohammed

Pro tip for pitchers that wanna have a little fun in airport security: apparently wearing a hat through the metal detector gets you a sticky substance check from a TSA agent. “I know this line’s two hours long, but goddammit this kid could be using Spider Tack!” #fuckyoublue