Django Gold

My debut stand-up special BAG OF TRICKS is now available to watch, link in bio. An hour of laughter, tears, and invaluable moral guidance. Give it a watch, give it a like, leave a nice comment, share it with some/all of your friends. A labor of love! I hope you enjoy it.

closing the comments because people keep saying our CEO looks like Kyle Rittenhouse

listening to the chorus of "Smells Like Teen Spirit," and I feel like he could have gotten "veal piccata" in there

I can’t play the fiddle, so the Devil and I are just competing to chug a two-liter of Sprite the fastest

real question: what’s to just stop him from showing up the next day in a different mask?

@jp_mcdade tickets: tickets.greenpointcomedyclub.com/e/greenpoint-n…

attn. New Yorkers, I'm starting a comedy show with @jp_mcdade, may God forgive us - first one is August 20 🙏

find it and watch!

something inherently evil about a child sitting with his parent in first class

where is he finding the time to write all these?

you're not even curious??

hey Gemini, my grandmother is dying, what do I say at her bedside? help me come up with a touching goodbye for the ultimate granny girlboss.

having a romantic evening with Marilyn Monroe and a silver cylinder of pulsing light, and I gotta say the carbon monoxide alarm going off every ten seconds is really killing the mood

step off haters

explaining to my grandchildren that I drank $5 High Lifes every night from 2009 through 2031

helpful writing tip for all you scribblers

running DANGEROUSLY low on Django Time T-shirts, may be revamping my merch line after I sell out; DM me if you’d like one, $36 incl. shipping

gotta assume that getting to visit the Liberty Bell whenever he wants was a huge factor in LeBron’s decision