Django Gold

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Django Gold

Django Gold

@django

comedic entity // formerly for Colbert, the Onion // watch BAG OF TRICKS, link below

New York, NY Katılım Temmuz 2011
1.2K Takip Edilen20.5K Takipçiler
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Django Gold
Django Gold@django·
My debut stand-up special BAG OF TRICKS is now available to watch, link in bio. An hour of laughter, tears, and invaluable moral guidance. Give it a watch, give it a like, leave a nice comment, share it with some/all of your friends. A labor of love! I hope you enjoy it.
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Django Gold
Django Gold@django·
something inherently evil about a child sitting with his parent in first class
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Django Gold
Django Gold@django·
where is he finding the time to write all these?
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Django Gold
Django Gold@django·
you're not even curious??
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Django Gold
Django Gold@django·
hey Gemini, my grandmother is dying, what do I say at her bedside? help me come up with a touching goodbye for the ultimate granny girlboss.
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Django Gold
Django Gold@django·
having a romantic evening with Marilyn Monroe and a silver cylinder of pulsing light, and I gotta say the carbon monoxide alarm going off every ten seconds is really killing the mood
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Django Gold
Django Gold@django·
explaining to my grandchildren that I drank $5 High Lifes every night from 2009 through 2031
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Django Gold
Django Gold@django·
helpful writing tip for all you scribblers
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Django Gold
Django Gold@django·
running DANGEROUSLY low on Django Time T-shirts, may be revamping my merch line after I sell out; DM me if you’d like one, $36 incl. shipping
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Django Gold
Django Gold@django·
gotta assume that getting to visit the Liberty Bell whenever he wants was a huge factor in LeBron’s decision
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Django Gold
Django Gold@django·
*burning my penis off with a magnifying glass* “science for the win!”
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Django Gold
Django Gold@django·
I didn't get a photo but Mitch McConnell was at the bar I was just at, absolutely running the Jurassic Park pinball machine
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Django Gold
Django Gold@django·
living in a computer simulation
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Django Gold
Django Gold@django·
@schwarz using movie magic to escape to a world of facts and occurrences
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Django Gold
Django Gold@django·
when you look at the schlocky gore-and-jump-scares formula of modern Hollywood fare, it comes across as stale and lifeless when compared against a classic like Jurassic Park, where Spielberg achieves unbelievable tension/terror despite never actually showing us the dinosaurs
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