5’12”

THE EVERYTHING APP

This little balding ballsack told the future

“My husband came home from the Masters with an Azalea hat and I thought that would be the perfect name for our daughter who I’m having at age 40.”

@signulll I use it to hire homeless people to steal catalytic converters, we're in 7 major cities right now and expanding

@StephieSmallls Åberg

who is not winning the masters? let’s be negative today. i’ll start - morikawa.

@fartj0ke Probably cause it smells like shit and you’re going to stink up the gym

Smoking a joint outside the gym and everyone’s judging me

They’re summoning the anti christ

@rizzbolt Good excuse to hop off the call and the rest of the day

Kicked off my first meeting of the day with an unmuted Tornado Siren

Patrick reeds doppelgänger

@justfuckingyoda It’s also funny she was considered a plus sized model

This feels decades old now…and Kate could wipe the floor with Sydney ——- argue with a wall.

Not in the peach!

@emilyinvc Ask Elon for a turkey baster is the best guess

i am sourcing a husband for a close friend of mine she’s * SF * Jewish * Very high IQ (makes >$500k/yr) * Family oriented * 34 + wants marriage/kids within 36 months * Gorgeous brunette with tiny waist and large breasts * Perverted, but in a fun way Who’s on the market?

I Exposed Indian H1B "Ghost Offices"

Why do we have H1B visas for 7/11 cashiers 😭

🌈🤡💩

@ReddCinema I offer free lobotomies in the back of my van

It may look like a ham, but it's actually a smoked watermelon 🤯

@crbeden @PatrickLucien49 @SorryIsaidF_off No grenades

@drunkest_rick @PatrickLucien49 @SorryIsaidF_off

Apparently this is someone’s idea of an Easter treat, just not sure who…

@WarRoomArchives Pulling your dick out and helicoptering the tiny dick pilot’s fpv

@TourSwingsTommy Im glad he got rid of his choker

How I look at the flight attendant so she knows I’m ready for a treat.