k o r t n e e

me: if my kids knew how many of their markers I’ve found and saved without the lids... also me: if my kids knew how many of their markers I HAVEN’T saved without the lids...

@taraquint Hehehe it’s a great service. I used @Unrollme in the past and it was awesome.

yes hello who would like to hire me to go through all of your unwanted marketing emails and unsubscribe? I am available to start now and feel very passionate about this work.

@tacobell She said I was quiet and gifted. That I wasn’t a crowd follower 🙃 (say black bean quesarita or I’ll be a lil disappointed)

Tell us how your second-grade teacher described you in your report card, and we'll tell you what to order off of our breakfast menu tomorrow.

it never ceases to amaze me that there is no oatmeal soup when I actually measure out the 2/3 c water *once out of every 32 times*

@taraquint okk ms. shattfield!

something you should know about me: if anyone ever pronounces your name wrong (usually children), and you tell me, I will ALWAYS remember and will ALWAYS say your name like that in my head when I see you

Credit score should go up if you are buying cool things

@Pentosh1 gm

@anna_rk_atkins 👏🏼👏🏼

@taraquint with bread

ok ok I hate lunch BUT soup is the best lunch

@tnquint Open him up a secured credit card 🙃

just found out my credit score is higher than my husband's; what is the appropriate way to gloat?

@dynamofire Fun fact! So due to this effect that kept happening when Disney released animal movies, Perry the Platypus was intentionally made a platypus because then kids couldn’t beg for one from the pet store.

stimmy just got passed? potatoes back at taco bell tmrw? 60+ degrees out?

I have my toddlers hooked on it - thanks youtube.

anyone else lose a year of their life trying to call in to radio disney after school and request “naked mole rap”?

Of the 437,000 children in the U.S. foster care system, over 125,000 are eligible for adoption and they will wait, on average, four years for an adoptive family, according to @HHSGov. #NationalAdoptionMonth

@RealitySteve @KameronMcCarter here for it

(SPOILER): As mentioned in today’s column, this is who received Matt’s first impression rose. Abigail Heringer, 25, Salem, OR. Part of Abigail’s backstory is she was born deaf and wears cochlear implants.

abc’s casting director watching dale meet clare on night one. #TheBacheloretteABC

@leslielatrice_ I know a fantastic one! She works hard and is down to earth. Let me know if you’d like a referral! villagerealtygreenville (at) g mail . com

Who knows good realtors in Columbia, SC?

@tnquint My kids have eaten their fair share of beetles 😩

I think... my son... who is almost 9 months old... just ate... a dead spider off the floor... iso someone to do the eulogy at my imminent funeral

@tnquint Eights even six cash nowwwwww

still waiting for the JG Wentworth broadway musical.

@emmerpope Old men’s coin collection books.

Help me understand the coin shortage. Where did they go