Mike Ingram

JD Vance with everything

@LeadingReport When you've gotta distract people from the war that you started to distract from the Epstein Files.

BREAKING: Possibility President Trump fires FBI Director Kash Patel soon, per former FBI agent Kyle Seraphin.

ICE agents will be stationed outside graduation events for the nation’s newest Marines to identify whether any of their family members are undocumented, according to the Marine Corps. nbcnews.com/politics/natio…

What a fucking embarrassment. American troops are being sent into harm’s way in Iran and this fucking idiot is doing his double jerkoff dance while waving a sword, like a drunk uncle at a wedding. This is who has the nuclear codes. America is a parody.

Chuck Norris has roundhouse kicked the bucket.

The Afroman Trial. -Cops raid Afromans house for bullshit reasons. -Steal money, break his door, fuck his house up. -No criminality found whatsoever, no charges at all pressed on Afroman. -Afroman spends the next 3 years making songs that make fun of all the officers involved by name, even using footage of the raid from his own CCTV cameras. -Songs had titles like "Randy Walters is a son of a bitch" and "Lick Em Low Lisa" accusing one of the officers of being a lesbian and sleeping with the other officers wives. -During the raid one officer looked like he was about to eat some lemon pound cake sitting on Afromans counter, Afroman made a whole album calling the officer fat. -The cops get mad and file a lawsuit for defamation. -Afroman turns up to court in a whole American flag suit. -Officers performatively mald and cry while listening to the songs really trying to oversell how badly the songs upset them. -One officer was suing because Afroman made a whole song about him saying he was fucking the officers wife. When the officer was asked if Afroman was really fucking his wife, he said "I don't know". Nuking his own case and establishing that there is a non-zero chance that Afroman might actually be fucking his wife. -As his only witness for the trial, Afroman brought a deputies EX FUCKING WIFE. -The jury ruled completely in favour of Afroman. This entire thing has been a great win for free speech and absolutely fucking hilarious.

I was in a 2 hour briefing today on the Iran War. All the briefings are closed, because Trump can't defend this war in public. I obviously can't disclose classified info, but you deserve to know how incoherent and incomplete these war plans are. 1/ Here's what I can share:

amber glenn opening magic the gathering booster packs on the olympic games closing ceremony and alysa filming her i'm deaddd 😭😭😭

坂本花織選手が演技直後に泣き崩れそうなとき、メディア陣が取り囲もうとするのをアメリカのアンバー選手がきっぱりと追い払って守ってくれて、こういう国を超えた関係性があちこちで見られたのも、今回のオリンピックとてもよかった。平和の祭典という言葉を思い出しました。

If there was ever a doubt where Alysa Liu is from...

@daisyldixon It also means she's over 18.

my theory is that a reason these men don’t like tattoos on women is because it’s an outward sign of creative agency and self-ownership - it signals that the woman’s body is hers and no one else’s - it aesthetically undermines and rejects men’s felt entitlement to our bodies 🖤

My favorite reply to that dork's attention-craving video where he got punched. 😂

Once again asking if they give Pulitzers for tweets.

I could not love that emphatic "YES!" more.

The Ents showing up to take down Isengard

This supercut of JerkinDapenus Vance getting booed at the Olympics, as told via the announcers from multiple other countries, is phenomenal. 😂 Meanwhile they quieted the boos on the U.S. broadcast. Soft as fuck.

@johnrich Because you're the softest sack of shit on the planet? That tracks.

My family and I will be changing the channel tonight as soon as the Super Bowl halftime starts. How about you?

Dude is just the best.

@JoeyMannarino He quite literally said that she was nominated right after he mentioned her, shitbird.

Why was Ketanji Brown-Jackson invited to the Grammys? She’s a SCOTUS justice, not a celebrity. Shouldn’t she be trying to figure out what a woman is and isn’t rather than spending time at the Grammys?

So, quick question about Post Malone singing "War Pigs" as the Grammy tribute to Ozzy Osborne: Were literally all other singers unavailable? #GRAMMY