Ꮍᴀᴇʟ

74K posts

Ꮍᴀᴇʟ banner
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ

Ꮍᴀᴇʟ

@elle91

Writer, animal foster person, 69 inches tall. If you let me write for your thing, I'll kiss you right on the head. Venmo/yael91, IG/the.yael

Chicago, IL Katılım Aralık 2008
301 Takip Edilen21.7K Takipçiler
Sabitlenmiş Tweet
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND ASKS IF YOU WOULD STILL LOVE HER IF SHE WAS A WORM, JUST SAY YES. SHE WILL NEVER BE A WORM. YOU WILL NEVER ACTUALLY HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT. BUT YOU WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE GIRLFRIEND WHO THINKS YOU WOULDN'T LOVE HER IF SHE WAS A WORM AND SHE IS MAD
English
1.1K
29.6K
291.1K
0
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
I wouldn't tell people I won the lottery, but there would be signs
English
0
0
5
148
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
The fact that "one trick pony" is not a compliment means we're probably putting too much pressure on ponies.
English
1
6
37
699
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
Sometimes a thought repeatedly pops into my head and I don't know what to do with it, so: L. L. Cool Beans You have to deal with it now.
English
1
0
16
489
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
Sorry I can't come out tonight, I can't stop thinking about prions again
English
2
1
24
1.4K
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
Bring back settling deep personal feuds by snapping rhythmically in alleys
English
1
9
63
3.2K
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
You ever see yourself from the side and wonder how anyone could ever love you
English
368
18.7K
189.4K
2.1M
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
We need antidepressants built for this era, not the ones built for an era where everything was more or less fine. I need Turbo-Powered Lexipro. Prozac Extreme™. I need god to spit directly into my mouth
English
68
2.1K
12.4K
208.7K
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
@greatestdisease I don't know man, I got shingles before I knew what shingles was. Do not recommend (I walked around singing "All the Shingle Ladies for over a month. I was fully intolerable)
English
1
0
1
92
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
My neighborhood is the epitome of quiet resistance. They created groups to keep ICE watch outside of the elementary school. Organized food deliveries for families afraid to leave home. Seeing this addition to our little free library was *chef's kiss* I fucking love it here
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ tweet media
English
1
2
53
1.6K
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ retweetledi
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
Asking “when are you having kids?” after a couple gets married is wild. Maybe they don’t want kids. Maybe they can’t have them. Maybe each of them is three kids in a trench coat. You want six kids to raise a baby? what the fuck is wrong with you
English
3
55
332
0
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ retweetledi
Andrew Nadeau
Andrew Nadeau@TheAndrewNadeau·
you’re mad the NYPD got hit with snowflakes? the thing you use to describe us as soft and harmless?
English
25
211
3.7K
29.9K
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ retweetledi
Christopher Moore
Christopher Moore@TheAuthorGuy·
4 of the 5 USA hockey players who aren' t going to the White House are from Minnesota.
English
345
3.8K
85.9K
1.7M
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
Citizens: we need to create more affordable housing so fewer people will be unhoused. Government: Ah sorry man, we just don't have the money or the space for that. ICE: Hey so we need a whole bunch of buildings to use as detention centers. Like, a BUNCH Government:
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ tweet media
English
2
3
48
973
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
The only good part of cooking is the step where you leat the meat rest. When the meat is resting, you should be resting.
English
1
2
29
1.3K
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
@KeruboSk Happened somewhere between getting called a snowflake for showing basic human empathy, and trying to keep our neighbors from getting abducted by the government.
English
0
0
2
118
Sophia ❣️
Sophia ❣️@KeruboSk·
How did we get to this point where the intelligent people have to keep quiet so the ignorant people won’t feel offended?
English
458
8.4K
34.2K
436.3K
hanri
hanri@hanriclontz·
I've never met a girl who supports abortion who hasn't had an abortion. Big cope
English
1.1K
9
153
3.9M
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
Oof yeah, so sorry but we're actually not going to be able to help you out with those affordable groceries and health care after all. lol it's actually a really REALLY funny story, but the president got into some hot water and needs $10 billion lmao
English
0
1
82
2.1K