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@elle91

Writer, animal foster person, 69 inches tall. If you let me write for your thing, I'll kiss you right on the head. Venmo/yael91, IG/the.yael

Chicago, IL Katılım Aralık 2008
301 Takip Edilen21.7K Takipçiler
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Ꮍᴀᴇʟ
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND ASKS IF YOU WOULD STILL LOVE HER IF SHE WAS A WORM, JUST SAY YES. SHE WILL NEVER BE A WORM. YOU WILL NEVER ACTUALLY HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT. BUT YOU WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE GIRLFRIEND WHO THINKS YOU WOULDN'T LOVE HER IF SHE WAS A WORM AND SHE IS MAD
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Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
I wouldn't tell people I won the lottery, but there would be signs
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Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
The fact that "one trick pony" is not a compliment means we're probably putting too much pressure on ponies.
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Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
Sometimes a thought repeatedly pops into my head and I don't know what to do with it, so: L. L. Cool Beans You have to deal with it now.
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Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
Sorry I can't come out tonight, I can't stop thinking about prions again
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Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
Bring back settling deep personal feuds by snapping rhythmically in alleys
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Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
You ever see yourself from the side and wonder how anyone could ever love you
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Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
We need antidepressants built for this era, not the ones built for an era where everything was more or less fine. I need Turbo-Powered Lexipro. Prozac Extreme™. I need god to spit directly into my mouth
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Ꮍᴀᴇʟ
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
@greatestdisease I don't know man, I got shingles before I knew what shingles was. Do not recommend (I walked around singing "All the Shingle Ladies for over a month. I was fully intolerable)
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Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
My neighborhood is the epitome of quiet resistance. They created groups to keep ICE watch outside of the elementary school. Organized food deliveries for families afraid to leave home. Seeing this addition to our little free library was *chef's kiss* I fucking love it here
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Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
Asking “when are you having kids?” after a couple gets married is wild. Maybe they don’t want kids. Maybe they can’t have them. Maybe each of them is three kids in a trench coat. You want six kids to raise a baby? what the fuck is wrong with you
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Andrew Nadeau
Andrew Nadeau@TheAndrewNadeau·
you’re mad the NYPD got hit with snowflakes? the thing you use to describe us as soft and harmless?
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Christopher Moore
Christopher Moore@TheAuthorGuy·
4 of the 5 USA hockey players who aren' t going to the White House are from Minnesota.
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Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
Citizens: we need to create more affordable housing so fewer people will be unhoused. Government: Ah sorry man, we just don't have the money or the space for that. ICE: Hey so we need a whole bunch of buildings to use as detention centers. Like, a BUNCH Government:
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Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
The only good part of cooking is the step where you leat the meat rest. When the meat is resting, you should be resting.
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Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
@KeruboSk Happened somewhere between getting called a snowflake for showing basic human empathy, and trying to keep our neighbors from getting abducted by the government.
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Sophia ❣️
Sophia ❣️@KeruboSk·
How did we get to this point where the intelligent people have to keep quiet so the ignorant people won’t feel offended?
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hanri
hanri@hanriclontz·
I've never met a girl who supports abortion who hasn't had an abortion. Big cope
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Ꮍᴀᴇʟ@elle91·
Oof yeah, so sorry but we're actually not going to be able to help you out with those affordable groceries and health care after all. lol it's actually a really REALLY funny story, but the president got into some hot water and needs $10 billion lmao
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Keşfet

@greatestdisease @TheAuthorGuy @KeruboSk @elonmusk @BarackObama @taylorswift13 @cristiano @BillGates