Elliot

@BadSchoolparent @MrBoothY6 Every year :(

@elliotchapman @MrBoothY6 What? That’s crazy.

Some people dread SATs week but it means free sausage and bacon butties for breakfast this week. Unrivalled.

@mistressdivy Have you ever heard of The Key?

Anyone regret buying a house and just go back to renting?

@PolitlcsUK 😂😂😂😂

🚨 NEW: Green leader Zack Polanski will call for policies to end the "affordability crisis" tomorrow - The introduction of a 10:1 pay ratio, whereby the highest-paid employee earns no more than ten times the lowest-paid - Free school meals for all primary and secondary pupils - Universal energy bill support for households and stronger rent controls - A customs union with the EU to cut business costs

@FCBayernEN His trousers don’t fit

Admin is here to serve Olise's pitch inspection🫡

@realDonaldTrump @SukhiBalboa There’s always a tweet

The United States has spent EIGHT TRILLION DOLLARS fighting and policing in the Middle East. Thousands of our Great Soldiers have died or been badly wounded. Millions of people have died on the other side. GOING INTO THE MIDDLE EAST IS THE WORST DECISION EVER MADE.....

@TedWelford Inheritance tax wheeze

I’m all for an expensive plate on a cheap car, but I really struggle to get the logic of having a £30k(?) number plate on a new Chery Tiggo 8, when the money could have been used to buy something SO much better! Also quite amusing that it’s fully debadged too 😅

@elenacute01 AI

He risked everything to save this baby from a crocodile... the reunion with the mother is absolutely beautiful.

@ListerLawrence Wait til you see the interior…

New Velar spotted in Manchester. This looks very low down to the ground to me… what do we think?

@Medzonetv Harris got him

A full‑term baby is delivered without complications. During the newborn examination, a soft, skin‑covered appendage is noted at the lower back, just above the gluteal cleft. It measures about 11cm in length. There is no movement. No bone is felt within it. The parents are anxious. “Is this a tail?” You are the clinician. What is this condition? And what must you rule out before considering removal?

@bbcstever_not Found the Russian bot

The Zero Line Spoiler The last 15 seconds (½%) - in the interest of balance and impartiality 🕵️‍♀️

Nothing demonstrates that you're not a state propaganda machine as delaying the release of a handful sensational claims, pending production of a 1 hour film, for release on an anniversary, and amplifying it through your news channels and social media bots all day long.

@nryding64 @JackGoodwin2001 Ultimately, in the real world, some assets are more valuable than others

@JackGoodwin2001 Said it after the biting incident. When are football clubs going to join the real world. Instant dismissal.

Unacceptable. This will now be a minimum of 21 games that he will suspended for after 2.5 years at PNE. Preston North End is a club that represents their community well on a lot of aspects but children can’t continue to come on and look up to a character like this. #pnefc

@TGE_LDNM I couldn’t even be mad. Just sat laughing and thinking I’d do exactly the same in that position. Got to pay the bills!

@elliotchapman 😂 those were the days

Yes! Major regret. It’s in Malaysia now but I’d love to get it back

@rodneyjperkins @gazsanders1 @archer_rs @HPanoias ICBM can’t be contacted after launch.

@gazsanders1 @archer_rs @HPanoias The warheads will be useless when the US remotely switches the missiles off.

Have just heard an American commentator on Fox News confidently state that all France and the UK nuclear weapons are "under US control"

@SoveyX But this isn’t debating. She’s just repeating rehearsed lines and not letting him speak. She’s also lying.

Her and I are roughly the same age. We have similar values. I’m not really afraid to debate anyone. Except her. Regardless of where you stand politically, you can’t deny that she is exceptional.

@TGE_LDNM 📈

Will be 6 years with this one in a few months. Where does time go 😳 Well on their way to £3m! #CarreraGT #Porsche

@MarcherReborn I get 100 miles per charge when it’s like this

-4c this morning. Let me know how your EV range figures are working out today ❄️❄️

@bunkered 👀

@Varticoo Did he just not like the two who died?

Anthony Joshua is probably the luckiest man this week. This is a proof that God exist.