Elmad

Fucking up the pressure and OceanGate-ing my 60 year old cockatoo because I was trying to get content for the gram

When the plane is about to take off and you hear the guy next to you say he invented a car that runs on water instead of gas.

Me and my chud son looking for a free spot to build a sand castle

Monica Lewinsky walking out of the Oval Office

how to make a killing more like: just fuck her man and she won't ruin your life

Exclusive from @citrini x @hntrbrkmedia: A fishing vessel is ablaze in the Persian Gulf just off the Strait of Hormuz.

12 year old me figuring out how to jack my shit for the first time

@wiseguykeith no way

Derek Chauvin on a random afternoon in Minnesota

Him seizing up after getting choked out for 30 seconds is because he was on drugs. Same reason why George Floyd died from a move that ordinarily wouldn't kill someone but did because of the drug-induced respiratory depression

Peanuts in Coke is one of the most accidentally perfect food pairings in history, and the chemistry explains why this guy can't go back. Coca-Cola sits at pH 2.5, roughly the same acidity as stomach acid. When you drop roasted peanuts into that, the phosphoric acid partially denatures the surface proteins on the nut, releasing free glutamate. You're generating umami in real time inside the glass. The salt on the peanuts suppresses bitter taste receptors on your tongue, which amplifies your perception of sweetness without adding a single gram of sugar. Coca-Cola already has 39g of sugar per can. Your brain registers it as even sweeter because the salt is clearing the noise from competing flavor signals. Then carbonation does two things. CO2 dissolved in liquid forms carbonic acid, which triggers pain receptors (TRPA1), not taste receptors. That mild irritation resets your palate between sips so you never get flavor fatigue. Every sip hits like the first. Second, the bubbles physically agitate the peanut surface, accelerating the protein breakdown and glutamate release. The longer the peanuts sit, the more umami you extract. The fat content seals it. Peanuts are 49% fat by weight. Fat is the only macronutrient that activates CD36 receptors, which your brain interprets as richness and satisfaction. Mix that with sugar, salt, acid, umami, and carbonation and you've accidentally triggered every major reward pathway in the human taste system simultaneously. Georgia farmers in the 1920s did this because they needed one hand free while working. They stumbled into the optimal salt-acid-umami-fat-carbonation loop a century before food science could explain why it worked.

“HE CAN’T DO TAXES. HE WORKS IN AUDIT.”

watching the cops search my truck for the bag that is in my sock

@kingbtc ninja crispi pro ☝️ regards

oh no

@notthreadguy where can I short

protein vapes next then perma top on protein products for a couple decades

Cowboys HC Brian Schottenheimer said he and DT Osa Odighizuwa cried during their phone call after Odighizuwa was traded to the 49ers 😞 “That’s the nature of the business. I’m thrilled he’s going to a place that is a great fit for him.”

@Shitpost_Media_ This ”meme” will kill some poor Mexican or Filipino kid one day…

They didn't even have to kiss to get the shoes for free 😭. Atlanta was hilarious 😂🤣.

@based16z ever?

A good way to know if you’re an NPC is if you’ve ever stood in a line

@paulsaladinomd Bro who fuckin cares. Theres men entering the UFC cage and beating the fuck out of eachother and youre here as a "man" scared of reciepts? Gay.