Elongated Muskrat

@urvalequinn @ShermStu_2 Thank you for your opinion dumb internet whore bot

@ShermStu_2 if you're charging your pregnant wife rent, you definitely don't like women.

Wifey out here on April Fools talmbout “I’m pregnant..”

@alifarhat79 Parents?

@PHLY_Eagles We must stop the dome epidemic

What does Andy Reid think about the possibility of a new stadium in Philly?

@O_0olI_1_lIo0_O @remarks Thankfully we aren’t talking about firearms, just ballistics dipshit

@elonatedmuskrat @remarks Ohp! The YouTube University firearms expert has arrived!

JUST IN: 🇺🇸 ATF unable to match bullet in Charlie Kirk case to rifle linked to suspect Tyler Robinson, court filing reveals.

@O_0olI_1_lIo0_O @remarks Lol have u seen the video? That is not doing that damage

@remarks I bet it'll match up this.

@Eggheadmcc19201 @TheICEAgent007 @MuseBaker can’t even afford a modest mansion in LA. If he was making some serious cash he’d be able to make a 30k mortgage payment idk how much money u think he making exactly. instagram.com/p/DSgEP2JlZtH/…

@Eggheadmcc19201 @TheICEAgent007 @MuseBaker He can say whatever he wants?? Lol. Has he made a couple million extra since entering the league? Sure probably. But if u think he’s making $10 mil a year or something ur lost. Here’s some proof he’s not making $10 mil a year from the man a couple months ago,

Guy got crucified over a false accusation Tale as old as time

@Eggheadmcc19201 @TheICEAgent007 @MuseBaker I didn’t know you knew him personally, u have as much info as I do. I think you’re overestimating the bargaining power of someone who doesn’t have million of social media followers

@elonatedmuskrat @TheICEAgent007 @MuseBaker I’m not talking about any of his legal trouble. Just telling you you are simply wrong about how much money he has

@Eggheadmcc19201 @TheICEAgent007 @MuseBaker Also this is a withdrawal of a restraining order, the civil suit is still there. If he paid her off the suit would be gone

@elonatedmuskrat @TheICEAgent007 @MuseBaker Every net worth on google is a guess my guy. Again use your brain. If you think he’s making 500k total from 5+ different endorsements idk what to tell you

@Eggheadmcc19201 @TheICEAgent007 @MuseBaker Can’t be that much when his estimated net worth is 1-1.5 million

@elonatedmuskrat @TheICEAgent007 @MuseBaker He has contracts with Jordan, Gatorade, Toyota, Invisalign and more. Let’s use our brains for a second here

@TheICEAgent007 @MuseBaker Guy is a former 6th round pick not even clearing a half mil living in LA. He does not have pay a bitch off money

@MuseBaker Bro, they paid her off 😂 a tale as old as time

@Golfingbrock Ofc lol, let’s not get hyperbolic here

Hypothetical: You get to play Augusta National Golf Club with Tiger Woods. Only catch: Tiger insists on driving you to the course. Are you getting in the car?

@turningabout @TheBabylonBee Wahh

@elonatedmuskrat @TheBabylonBee Piss off.

Trump Brags Oil Never Worth This Much Under Biden buff.ly/XZ4OgjS

@Callunc Who’s winning March Madness Unc?

Me in traffic tryna rush home to do absolutely nothin

@TWlegion @Skratch Get a driver dude holy fck

🚨Not much information is available yet. County sheriff to speak at 5 PM, ESPN reported. (📰 @Skratch) skratch.golf/news/news/tige…

@turningabout @TheBabylonBee Okay then laugh and move on, nobody cares about real numbers on a parody account

@elonatedmuskrat @TheBabylonBee LOL! I guess I get to stay then.

@turningabout @TheBabylonBee Get off the internet if u don’t know this is a parody account

@TheBabylonBee Under Biden, gasoline momentarily peaked at $5.00 nationwide then fell to $4.00 for a year. It’s currently $3.75 in my area.

@randomspank @Peter_forth21 Oh yeah? The whole 3 day thorough investigation?

@elonatedmuskrat @Peter_forth21 Nah people use it as a coping mechanism, let’s be honest

Ohtani teaching Skenes how to gamble

@dustinbalius @ForePlayPod already knowing Rory was barely closer, why wouldn’t he have just waited for the official in an attempt to ice him?

@dustinbalius @ForePlayPod I mean he didn’t want to wait obviously cuz that’s exactly what happened. If Rory’s account is to be believed, Bryson response sounded like he preferred not breaking flow of the round to putt first in a non-match play event. And if he was just trying to game Rory

Rory reveals some of the gamesmanship going on between him & Bryson in the final round of last year’s Masters 👀