emalie

Black-browed albatross family

gardening is freaky as hell what do you mean the hose has got a kink

Open fart surgery

I did as the icecream instructed, but now my arse is cold.

i’ve turned over a new leaf: no chasing motorcyclists, snowmobilists, or having an alleged attitude problem. i’m a new moose.

Imagine feeding a brontosaurus from a huge bag of crisps, it withdraws its head from the bag and really slowly arcs and extends its 20ft long neck up into the sky, you hear a gentle crunch from so far above you for a minute or so and then its head slowly starts descending again

coo

The Lobster will come to your birthday party.