• EP •

I may not go out as much anymore but I still be pulling feral EP out anytime I get the chance 🍻

“Are you attracted to anyone born before Nixon was president”

@alayna_marie97 You shoulda seen the look on the load out guys faces when I threw 3 goats in the back hatch of a Terrain Denali. Priceless.

@empratherhha I’m dead 💀😂

“How’d you end up with goats?” I smoked a joint and ended up at the sale barn, that’s how mf.

Everytime I get asked if I’ve watched Star Wars I say “no but don’t spoil it for me” so I never have to watch or hear about it. I stand by my decision.

All these young girls are ready to settle down & get married. I’m just now catching my second feral wind.

my twenties have taught me that people really are THAT horrible and they would really do you like THAT

Days like today make me realize how important my job really is.

Here’s a liquidation sale of my hopes and dreams. Yes please offer me $2,000 less. Get fucked.

I’m glad I wasn’t born with whatever gene makes yall content with being a fuckin loser.

doctor: do you smoke or drink me: yes doctor: ok me: are u mad at me

Now everyone is suddenly alarmed that I’m driving to town at night when I’ve been driving all over the country in the middle of the night since I was 16. Wut.

Seeing where I am 2 years later, thank god you pulled out of my driveway and never came back.

@rachelslathar @mrbmx22 Came here to also say this 😂😂😂 I was like WHAT THE FUCK I JUST SENT YOU A DIAGRAM MAN 🤣

@mrbmx22 That’s crazy swear it wasn’t 💀😂

Fuck you, you abusive, controlling, manipulative piece of shit. Fuck you.

I feel like shit no one ask me to do anything besides scroll social media & schedule posts today plz.

You ever been talking to a genuinely stupid person and think "good for him. You know what keeps this guy up at night? Not a God damn thing"

do yall feel the heat outside 😭 its the gates of hell opening bc its gemini season

This what I mean when I say green my favorite color

man of the house (firstborn daughter)

big advocate for hugging horses