Yoooo

my period shocks me every time, i’ll never get used to this.

Oh my genuinely what the hell is my problem

@Discount_Death So true

the gun to my head helps with my executive dysfunction

have you felt the depth of your wounds today

i just know her husband doesn't stress her out she's glowing

I’m now going to this pizza place w this guy and yeah it’s yeah the same one I went to w that guy my ex kinda yeah

My friends: having babies and getting married Me:

MANAGER: ARE YOU WORKING HARD OR HARDLY WORKING? ME: I'M HARD WHILE I'M WORKING MANAGER:

Dropped my coffee on the sidewalk and it exploded in front of like 10 people