escapetotheshithole

Tourist: "Why are there goats in the supermarket car park?" Local: "They live on the headland. They come down sometimes." Tourist: "Shouldn't somebody do something?" Local: "They've been here longer than the supermarket." Tourist: "But they're eating the flowers." Local: "They're keeping the verges down. Council saves about £8,000 a year." Tourist: "Don't they spread disease?" Local: "Less than the seagulls." Tourist: "What's that one doing in the bus shelter?" Local: "Sheltering. It's about to rain." Tourist: "From the bus?" Local: "From the rain. The bus comes through every twenty minutes." Tourist: "Does it move when the bus arrives?" Local: "Eventually. Goat operates on its own schedule." Tourist: "This is the strangest place I've ever been." Local: "You're in the goat's town. You're the strange one."