Em

Every trauma survivor carries the ghost of a child who once believed someone would come.

The hot state in suicide often isn’t sadness. It’s escape urgency. Claustrophobia. Entrapment. “Get me out now.”

Rebuilding Your Life After a Mental Health Crisis: What No-one Tells You. 🧵 1/13

@Lara_Fergie99 We had all access to drinks taken away for almost a week after one patient kept throwing all the tea/coffee/sugar/milk/water/cups everywhere, as well as no bin! No bins in rooms either 🙃

This is an example of punitive practice on psych wards. First we had a bin in a designated area, then we had a giant paper bin, then a small paper bin and now nothing. All these blanket restrictions placed on an entire ward because of the actions of 1 person (who was only looking through the bins)

@JakSayers It wouldn't be better for me. I'm so sorry you're feeling so low x

I think it would be better for everyone if I was gone forever 🫠

@CPTSDlogic I feel this turmoil, so incredibly difficult. I don't have any suggestions but know that you're not alone with it x

@JakSayers Thanks so much Jak, means a lot. Such a lonely time

@esh2403 I hope you will experience rest from this soon. It is such an awful experience that few can understand unless they have been through it too. You can do it Em. You are an incredible person 🖤

Finding things very difficult at the moment. Trying to take it moment by moment but flashbacks and my own mind are making it very tough. I'm so tired of doing the work

@IamCarrieagain Hoping to get more of a rest this afternoon x

@esh2403 Thanks. Gosh, yeah, I get that exhaustion. Can you rest?

So, my account was locked for mentioning self harming on Sunday. I wasn't encouraging anyone else to do it or saying it's great. I'm 43 and have self harmed on and off since I was 8. It's just a part of my life at times. Grrr. Anyway, nice to have my support network back

@IamCarrieagain I hope today feels more manageable not being at work and you are able to enjoy being with your mum. I'm struggling a lot this morning, trying to take each minute as it comes, but feels pretty exhausting when it's not even 9am 🤦‍♀️

@esh2403 Much the same, thanks. Not in work today, so heading to mum's in a bit. How are you?

@IamCarrieagain I'm sorry you're feeling so awful. Hope you are able to bury your mind in your book x

Having a hard time. Sh and I tried to fix it but not too well. I've taken my night meds so should be sleepy in an hour or so. Going to read my book. Have a lovely evening, pocket friends

One of the most chilling form of gaslighting in psychiatry is bureaucratic. You tell your story, and the system writes a different one. The gaslight-to-file pipeline traps us in a cage, our attempts to get out proof of concept.

@IamCarrieagain My husband is a big fan of those! Lovely that someone hides some away for you

@esh2403 I really like Fox's classic cream biscuits and our reception volunteer hides some away for me

I might have eaten a few biscuits or so this morning at work...

Someone asked me the other day, “Why do you still feel so hurt when it’s been so long?” I took a deep breath and said, “You know when you break a bone or tear a ligament, and even after it heals, it still aches sometimes because it never quite returns to what it used to be. The pain fades, but the memory remains in the body. Those bones and ligaments will never be the same again.” That’s what emotional pain does too. It doesn’t always scream the way it used to sometimes it just quietly lingers. You can go on with your life, laugh again, fall in love, rebuild yourself but there’s always that one quiet moment when your soul whispers, ‘Remember?’ It’s not about holding onto the pain; it’s about living with the echo of what once broke you. Healing isn’t linear. Some days you wake up feeling strong, untouched, and free. Other days, a random song, a familiar scent, or a passing memory can pull you right back into the ache you thought you left behind. But that doesn’t mean you haven’t healed, it means you’re human. It means you’ve survived something that left a mark deep enough to remind you of your strength. You learn to carry the pain differently. It becomes softer, quieter, more like a scar than an open wound. It no longer controls you, but it shapes you. It teaches you patience, compassion, boundaries, and resilience. It reminds you to never settle for the things that once broke you. So when they asked me again, “Are you still hurt?” I smiled and said, “No, I’m not hurt anymore. It’s just that my soul isn’t feeling how it used to. Some parts of me healed, but they healed differently not perfectly, not the same, but beautifully in their own way.” Because healing doesn’t always mean going back to who you were. Sometimes it means accepting that you’ll never be the same and learning to love that new version of yourself anyway.

All therapy is grief work. A process of confronting a life where you expect one thing and get another, a life that brings you the unexpected and unanticipated.” Edith Eva Eger #therapy #grief #expectations

Want to truly heal? Don’t just ask: “What happened to me?” Ask: “What did I have to become to survive it?” The answer isn’t in the pain itself. It’s in the armor you had to wear to keep going.

As a patient As a nurse As a person This qoute is something we should all try and practice: In our darkest moments, we don’t need solutions or advice. What we yearn for is simply human connection—a quiet presence, a gentle touch. These small gestures are the anchors that hold us steady when life feels like too much. Please don’t try to fix me. Don’t take on my pain or push away my shadows. Just sit beside me as I work through my own inner storms. Be the steady hand I can reach for as I find my way. My pain is mine to carry, my battles mine to face. But your presence reminds me I’m not alone in this vast, sometimes frightening world. It’s a quiet reminder that I am worthy of love, even when I feel broken. So, in those dark hours when I lose my way, will you just be here? Not as a rescuer, but as a companion. Hold my hand until the dawn arrives, helping me remember my strength. Your silent support is the most precious gift you can give. It’s a love that helps me remember who I am, even when I forget. Ernest Hemingway

no one talks about how draining it is when your mood is constantly switching between "keep going, it'll get better" and "i can't do this anymore I'm about to give up"