resmarted

all of my mutuals can kill me in real life

im going to find you and im going to FOLK you

@blockhead4000 Fix traffic by saying the road is “no girls allowed”

watchmojo top 10 kosher sex positions

What if instead of subnautica 2 it was called rise of the gay worm 4

When u and bro etc huffing jenkem and someone suggests watching porn together on a projector and building a pillow fort 👀

Just invented a new term for those of us who can have sex whenever we want but choose not to. It’s called being an “incel”, short for intentionally celibate. Any fellow incels? 🙋‍♀️

can i come over and rub my face all over you

Bubbling over onto you like diet soder poured on a pound of ice

Repeat after me. I will be an exception.

the choir

4th wall break nigga think he wit hatsune miku whole time he in fake hellstar n a 3 5 of straight dixie plates

we can use nanotechnology to cause rashes all over your body if you'd like

*American door opening sound 🚪🔊* me: ^_^ yay ur here! wanna play Burger 🍔... tax collector: *sighs* not this again... 😾

my wallet is filled with polaroid pictures of my penis and exactly zero dollars

i lowkey don’t fw anyone and that’s okay

im looking for love

Can u be crip and a furry? /gen