coach crystal

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@Marie_Pasolini For me they formed to protect an identity I “needed” to survive but they were formed from a mind that didn’t know other options.

@evolvedcoach From what I’ve seen, both in myself and in others, those old conclusions don’t stick because they’re true. They stick because they were formed when we didn’t have the capacity to question them... And then we build identities around them and defend them like they’re facts.

"Believe in yourself." Cool. How? Nobody ever answers that part. They say it like the instruction manual comes included. Like you just needed to hear the words and now the switch flips. It doesn't work that way. And honestly, most people who say it don't know how it works either. They just know it worked for them at some point and they're trying to pass the feeling along. Here's what I've figured out after decades of watching people get stuck in the same place: You can't build genuine self trust on top of a foundation that's still running an old story. You can repeat the affirmation... You can surround yourself with people who believe in you. You can white knuckle your way through the doubt. But if there's a belief underneath all of that, something you decided about yourself back when you had less information, less experience, less perspective , it doesn't matter what you stack on top of it. The foundation is still cracked. "Believe in yourself" skips the prerequisite. The prerequisite is looking at what you're currently believing. Not to replace it. Not to positive-think your way past it. But to actually examine whether it was ever true or whether it was a conclusion a younger, less resourced version of you made under pressure, and then never questioned again. That's the work I'm calling Unbelieve. It's not the opposite of believing in yourself. It's what has to happen first.

The “why isn’t this working “ question haunted me for a long time. I grew up with people around me who didn’t care if I lived or died. I was a burden to them. So when things get hard and I’d speak up about feeling like the system was rigged against me I would hear “just believe in yourself” and so I’d say the affirmations and say I believed and it would t move the needle which made things worse. I did what they said and didn’t get the results. Was something wrong with me? It took me decades to figure out I had developed the wrong beliefs about myself and nothing I stacked up or piled onto those belief were going to get momentum. While there was the huge weight of the belief I was just a waste of space holding me down. I had to shed that belief before anything else could fill in. I did that by questioning every belief I made while I was in an unresources mindset. By comparing to new evidence I had I was able to detect the flaws

@subbydude1 Nice work!!!!

Major accomplishment today. Managed 22mins cardio on my exercise bike. First time back in the saddle after having a heart prob flare up last year. Feeling fine. Little winded, but not gasping for breath either. Been afraid of exercising due to the ticker thing. Feel good!

@Marie_Pasolini @subbydude1 I like these additions.

@evolvedcoach @subbydude1 Not “why aren’t they giving it to me?” but “why am I staying where it isn’t?”

Sometimes loneliness is not just about people failing to show up for us. Sometimes it is about how rigid we have become about how they should show up. We say we want connection, but then we quietly create conditions around it. Call me, don’t text me. Come to my side of town. Fit into my routine. Reach out first. Make it convenient for me. Meet me where I am. And to be fair, we all do this in some way. We all have preferences. We all have limited energy. We all have routines, responsibilities, comfort zones, and ways we like to connect. But when preference becomes rigidity, connection starts to shrink. At some point, we have to ask: Am I lonely because no one cares? Or am I lonely because I’ve made connection too narrow to reach me? Real connection requires some compromise. Sometimes you make the call. Sometimes you answer the text. Sometimes you drive across town. Sometimes you leave the house when you don’t feel like it. Sometimes you meet people halfway instead of waiting for them to come all the way to you. Loneliness grows when everyone is standing in their own corner saying, “Meet me where I’m at.” Connection grows when someone is willing to move.

@Marie_Pasolini “Removal of illusion “ 100%. You get it!

@evolvedcoach You’re circling something real here… and I can feel that it’s not just theory for you, it’s lived. Most people try to optimize the cage they built instead of questioning why they’re still inside it. What you’re describing isn’t improvement, it’s removal of illusion.

I'm working on something. It's a personal development framework I've been calling Unbelieve and before I explain it, I want to be honest that it's still in progress. I understand why it works for me. I'm still doing the harder work of stripping out what's specific to my particular wiring so it can actually be useful to someone else. Here's the core of it: most of us are trying to add our way out of being stuck. More information. More strategies. More tools. But what actually moves people isn't addition it's subtraction. Dissolving the things we're certain about that aren't true anymore. The beliefs we built from old data that we're still running on. Then I came across this: "If you want knowledge, add something every day. If you want wisdom, subtract something every day."attributed to Lao Tzu It stopped me. Because that's it. That's the whole thing. It's been sitting in ancient philosophy and I've been working to say it in a way that lands for someone living in 2026 with a full inbox and a business that's eating them alive. That's what I'm building. More soon.

I have an unpopular opinion on this. We show up because it’s the right thing to do in your belief system. We don’t show up because we expect people to reciprocate. That’s transactional. When we think something like : They “should “ behave in a way that makes me feel desired too…” that indicates we expect something in return for our actions that’s transactional With that said …I would ask you, what benefit comes to you and to the other people when you “chase them” Do you still get that benefit if you make effort to stay in touch if they don’t reciprocate? If not Then what exactly do you want that you’re not getting and where can you get it that doesn’t require an external thing to provide it

@evolvedcoach An interesting post and position. What happens though, when you’re the one doing all the chasing, making all the effort? Sometimes its nice to be and feel wanted, minus having make the first move all the time.

@lyssasphere Great list. I see a lot of comments offering some great suggestions and I would throw my hat in with Philip K dick and victor Hugo. There’s so many great ones.

Authors everyone should be familiar with, imho: Edgar Allen Poe George Orwell Hunter S. Thompson Isaac Asimov Ken Kesey Lewis Carroll Ray Bradbury Are there any others that belong on this list?

@Shannon_DoesX I never did actually. I heard the nickel and dimed.

@evolvedcoach Did you every fly them?

RIP spirit airlines

@Mylo_Swings I see what you did there. lol 😂

@evolvedcoach They'll be with us in Spirit

Spirit Airlines has officially ceased all operations as of 3:00 AM ET on Saturday, May 2, 2026, marking the end of its 34-year history. The budget carrier canceled all flights, halted customer service, and entered an orderly wind-down after failing to secure a last-minute rescue deal amid surging fuel prices

@Martessex69 I really appreciate that.

@evolvedcoach Te felicito y me alegra saber de que a pesar de que la hipocresía de esta sociedad puede y va a juzgarte, eres no solo una mujer fuerte físicamente sino espiritual y mentalmente, que busca reinventarse, procurando ayudar a otros desde sus experiencias y conocimientos,sigue asi🎉

I run a business where I'm responsible for everything. Every decision flows through me. Every problem lands on my desk. Every employee's bad day becomes my emergency. Every customer complaint requires my attention. I built this system because I thought it meant I was in control. Turns out, I built my own prison. Here's what I learned: You can be the founder AND still delegate. You can be responsible AND still have boundaries. Being indispensable doesn't make you valuable. It makes you trapped.

@7038X @Acyn Looks exactly the same 🤣

@evolvedcoach @Acyn For the unaware:

Wow Scott Jennings blows up at Adam Mockler: “Get your fucking hand out of my face” Mockler: We all know that Scott Jennings is more than happy to defend a war with a country that starts with letters Ira that we are currently failing that is going to put us trillions and trillions of dollars more in debt. I was only a few years old while you were in the administration defending prior endless wars.

The unknown lets you move before the narrative arrives. The comfort zone isn’t comfort it’s just a story you already know the ending to.

The Golden Handcuffs Audit: If money wasn't a factor, would you still do this? 5 years from now: excited or exhausted? Do you feel guilty when not working? Mentioned selling but done zero research? Feel responsible for everyone's livelihood? No, exhausted, yes, yes, yes = golden handcuffs

@Cookieineachhan Thank you for sharing that ;)

@evolvedcoach I know this isn't the point of your post. Knowledge is always power, it can prevent you from taking a moment to breath.