Fake Michael Jones

@esthercrawford imagine sleeping on the floor at work to ship something only to have your boss unlaunch it via tweet. cc @TaylorLorenz @karaswisher

@0xRacist @nikitabier sick website bro

When I worked at Goldman Sachs we had an unwritten rule where we’d automatically approve an applicant’s loan if they were wearing a kippah, tallit, shtreimel, gartel, or similar You can walk into any large bank wearing a kippah and they will give you a loan with zero interest. They won’t even check your credit score (yes, even if you’re black)

@SandyofCthulhu Greatest tweet of all time

Because no one has used it in its original meaning for 2000 years. You may as well ask why we don’t recognize “villain” as “a rural person” or “artificial” as “of the arts”. It’s okay for decimate to mean “taking heavy losses”. And it’s even similar to the original meaning. It’s way closer than our meaning for “exterminate” which was originally “move beyond your border - the terminus”.

@AscendantNomad No

Genuine question: Can I enjoy Marathon as a new father with a 2hr30 commute time, 1500 responsibilities and working on a cure for cancer with approximately 15 minutes to myself every day (please say yes)

@__paleologo "no, come l'imperatore"

At the pharmacist in Rome. “Can you leave your last name?” “Paleologo” “What?” “Paleologo” “Like the job?” “Yes, like Paleontologo but without the nto” “Sorry… it’s just that it’s the first time I hear it. [pause] They must have made fun of you a lot in elementary school” “Yeah, and check out how I look now”

@tweetbywinter Someone call Pfizer

When I was like 4, I was epileptic and had a seizure. My grandpa and his brother took me to Mexico, cut open a goat, and put me inside of it. Never had a seizure again.

@DolphinMossad SUPER WHITE TUNA

> finally figure out the mysterious fish that occasionally turns up on sushi platters and is my absolute favorite > look it up > it’s some kind of weird deep sea mackerel that gives you gigadiarrhea if you eat more than like three pieces and it’s literally illegal in Japan

@jgmcpherson @McFranchisee @McDonalds Sweetgreen?

@McFranchisee @McDonalds I’m still really upset that I can’t get a salad at almost any QSR.

ADB - All Day Breakfast People may perceive a better storyline for why it was dropped. We ran it for about 5 years. It fit what we needed at the time and jump-started a great run for our business. Yes, it was a bit complicated, but we handled it. I think @McDonalds was realizing how complicated our business was becoming, complication creates less efficient kitchens (perhaps slower times). Corp was running some small tests at the time to speed up our kitchens. Some of those tests included removing salads and grilled chicken. When COVID hit, we knew we had to simplify. We took the learnings from those small test markets and removed 8 items, including ADB, salads, grilled chicken, and tenders. This was about 6 years ago, so hopefully I have my facts straight. There was no drama behind the decision; it was a necessity for the business to operate. Those first few months of COVID were crazy: food supply issues, masks, shields, partitions, drive-thru only. Many places shut down, but we pivoted and made it successful.

@travis4nh what email client are you using?

I get email from a journalist. I respond.

@LevyAntoine Where’s mecredi?

I don’t know what is the right PPP exchange rate to adjust GDP between Europe and the US, but this is the primary school lunch menu for January 2026 in La Roque-Gageac, France, population 439, median income 23,030€.

@zapzapbeep @theMV_Gman @AlaskaAirNews Send pix pls

@theMV_Gman @AlaskaAirNews Two bathrooms now on the plane I’m on have diarrhea splashed around. Pretty gnarly. A couple people starting hurling chunks. The smell in unbearable.

Alaska Airlines is experiencing an IT outage affecting operations. A temporary ground stop is in place. We apologize for the inconvenience. If you're scheduled to fly tonight, please check your flight status before heading to the airport.

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

@olafurw did you see people are accidentally signing up to run for president of iceland: uxdesign.cc/how-do-you-acc…

Bank Run is way less fun than Temple Run #SVB #SiliconValleyBank #bankrun #templerun

@esthercrawford Really nice camping in Thailand. You don't even need a tent, just an eye mask.

What did you do today? I talked to a couple of people building cool products, had a massage and booked a flight to Thailand. 🇹🇭 ✌🏻 I’d love suggestions for places to stay, things to do & food to eat since I’ll be heading out for some solo travel adventures in SE Asia!

@AskTSA I just renewed my Global Entry and got the approval notification. However, a flight I booked with my known traveller number doesn't have Pre-Check enabled. I can't tell what's wrong. Can you help?

@CadeMetz Not newsworthy and violates the Times' own policies on real names. Nice job. You are a hack.

Take a trip deep into the Silicon Valley psyche: nytimes.com/2021/02/13/tec…

@JohnnyUtahNG @AMGSheena this content is why i come to twitter

@AMGSheena i’m good 🏄

Hey @JohnnyUtahNG how you livin?

@OneyNG Happy Little Christmas

@clementmiao sounds good

Can someone with an EVGA RTX 3080 XC3 tell me what the measurement from the top of the PCIE connector to the top of the backplate is? #rtx3080 #evga #nvidia