Fanny Fielding Art

A rare pensive moment, contemplating my “Teabagging Boyfriend Squeezes Out Every Last Drop” painting. This one’s going up in Brighton Open Art Houses throughout May along with some exclusive prints and I’ll be there on some days to say hello. DM me if you’d like more info🌼

@BGatesIsaPyscho Why

@BGatesIsaPyscho This is true and I’ll say why below.

South Park - Just ain’t no way. He’s called Kyle, his Brother is called Ike.

A chromatic test to discover what your body needs to thrive right now🌼

Brings a new meaning to “straphanger”

@zoebread Chowder Clam

misogyny soup

I’m tightly packed for December. Not sure how I’ll fit it all in🌼

@Maguireisfit @Rishistaxreturn Wonderful

@Rishistaxreturn That’s 2 eggs you fake double yolk fake wife cunt 🫵🏼

Doubke yolker. 🤭🤭 make your own luck. 👊

In an age of empire, when Julius Caesar redrew the heavens just to track his battles and bedroom shenanigans, he invented a whole calendar. If only he’d waited for my 2026 edition. Old Jules got the Ides of March. You can do better. Limited copies on my website now🌼

Banish boring gift tags! I’ll be popping 12 of these self-adhesive 6”x4” Santa labels in with every webshop order up until Christmas, or you can buy them on their own for a little bit of money from my bio. Shock your granny!🌼

If it was still the eighties…

@PlopOwl94835 @zoebread Thanks Plop

water under the bridge is good but water under the fridge means i think my freezer is broken

@TopQuokka @DreyfusJames Thanks for caring. I didn’t get to see a consultant for two weeks. Turns out to be a chronic version. Fingers crossed the pills they’ve put me on keep it under control.

@fanny_fielding @DreyfusJames And? What now?

Had a chest X-ray yesterday. Just had a call from my GP’s department saying they want to see me on Tuesday morning. Then they called back & said actually my doctor would like to speak to on the phone me later today… Ug. I like my news, good or bad, delivered fresh…

Sick of Halloween visitors? Bored of eating dinner in the dark? Keep those trick-or-treaters away with these Child Deterrent Posters. Ready to download, print and colour🌼

Destiny can be told from within. Like Tasseology, the reading of spent tealeaves, there is prophecy within our bowel. Embrace Asstrology. Although a first reading is “You dirty lazy fekker. Clean it off ffs”, there is more nuance to be found within the lumps and bumps🌼

In this painting, perfection is questioned one snip at a time. Perfect symmetry is a myth and merely society’s way of saying “conform.” One side always grows faster when you stop paying attention. You might manicure your chaos, but it still grows back wild🌼

I have to spell it out for my Etsy punters. My “Secret of Calm” affirmation prank is obviously too subtle for the general passer-by at art fairs and on websites. On the plus side, it means it’s the perfect gift or, dare I say, Secret Santa for the unsuspecting. Linkin Biro🌼

@TheKevinDalton I thought this was performance art

Honestly, thought this was a still image when I first started watching. Nope, just a Tuesday morning in Gavin Newsom’s California

I thought it was about time I posted some “real-artisty” pictures. Here’s my palette / toastplate and the painting it spawned, a commission of “Thick Ropes of Seamen”🌼