David Featherstone

@TheGriftReport Apparently resigned to spend more time with her nosebag

Jess Phillips has just resigned from Keir Starmers government after doing an amazing job as Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State for Safeguarding and Violence Against Women and Girls Ok the first bit was true the last was satire as she did a terrible job. Good fucking riddance.

@AvonandsomerRob Fish & chips plus battered sausage in sunny Broadstairs £15

2026 UK Takeaway Survey - What Friday takeout are you having? How much did it cost? Approx location?

@AvonandsomerRob Any pint of that 'citrus' craft twaddle !!

What's the nastiest pint of beer available in Britain? I'm talking "struggle to get it down" levels of nasty 🤮

@andreajenkyns Been drunk in that pub on the Embankment many a time !

After reviewing the Greater Lincolnshire budget, I’ve decided we need a more 'Sovereign' presence for the Mayor’s office. I am officially in talks to move the Mayoral headquarters into Tattershall Castle. If we’re going to build a future for the county, we should do it from a position of historical strength! 🏰🦁

@benonwine Its not legally binding thankfully

Have you seen the news lately, United Nations Voted for the UK to pay Reparations for slavery.... no longer Millions, they say we have to pay Trillions, we will literally be slaves paying of a never ending debt on interest alone for something we had nothing to do with, not to mention we all already paid towards ending slavery.

@CrewkerneGaz Django unchained Kemi as Django & Lammy as Stephen springs to mind !

Any other movie suggestions for political parties down here ⬇️

43 years after Scarface, the sequel is finally here: Scarface: The Conservative Party. Kemi Badenoch stars as Kemi Montana, with Nick Timothy by her side, while Keir Starmer plays the villain. {satire}

@AvonandsomerRob A lot of chinese ev manufacturers have gone bust in the last three years with the biggest issue being that cars no longer get tech updates resulting in anything from cars not locking to system lock down leaving the car becoming immobile Wouldn't touch one !

I'm seeing more Chinese EVs on British roads than any other 26 plate vehicles. Are they any good?

@Asst_Sainsburys Its a simple question-why are there no delivery slots available at the Broadstairs store ?

we are sorry for the awful experience, this is not the service we wish to offer. Kindly reached via DM with more details so that we can look on to this.

@sainsburys @sainsburys Hi There are no delivery slots available from the Broadstairs outlet between now & sunday-is there a problem?

@sainsburys Hi There are no delivery slots available from the Broadstairs outlet between now & sunday-is there a problem?

@AvonandsomerRob @mrmikeMTL Gets a thumbs up from me

@mrmikeMTL The Prostate Cancer Industry.

name a huge scam

@PeterBleksley Pizza Express replies,'No Sweat'

‘Hello, is that Pizza Express in Woking?’ ‘Yes’ ‘I need to cancel my booking for tonight..’

@benonwine Courtesy of J Clarkson 'Custard' encompassing 'Cunt' and 'Bastard' !

If you could invent a new swear word to describe Keir Starmer…. what would it be?

@JacquiDeevoy1 My experience confirms this Prior to surgery, I was on morphine & used to clock watch for the next dose as the pain was beyond intense Come nighttime, it was invariably late as the night staff treated patients as an inconvenience I don't hate lightly, but I hated those nurses!

My friend who experienced five deaths around her while she was in ICU after heart surgery asked an interesting question: “Why did all the deaths occur at night?” This is after she told me that the day staff were all lovely but most of the night staff were a different breed altogether: cold, non-empathetic and ‘evil’. Why would this be? What’s going on in NHS hospitals? Has anyone else had any similar experiences?

@CrewkerneGaz Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition !! or indeed Kemi at the end-superb !!

The HMS Labour Party is about to get a new captain, but not before Keir Starmer has one last song and dance at the helm. {satire}

@CrewkerneGaz Best yet !

You know that feeling when you appoint a creep as ambassador, someone with extremely close ties to Jeffrey Epstein? Here’s Keir Starmer as Amy Winehouse with “You Know I’m Toxic”. Entertainment for a nation waiting for the Prime Minister to resign. {satire}

@80s_Kidz Paraphrasing Car breaks down Partner goes for help Girl hears banging on roof of car Police turn up, tell her to get out of car and walk towards them & don't look back..but she does An escapee from a local asylum is on the car roof banging her boyfriends decapitated head on it !

I'll start.... The story about Marc Almond😦

@FannyBlancmange @DickDelingpole Ahh Scope, originally the Spastic Society-takes me back to my youth when my parents donated weekly Without fail when myself or my brother answered the front door to the collector & would turn & shout 'Mum it's the Spastic man' !

@DickDelingpole To summon a tooled-up Joey 'The Terminator' Deacon back from the Afterlife, and to direct more donations to BHF shops by encouraging arson attacks on Scope shops.

Rosie Jones suddenly everywhere. 🚨 Psi-op 🚨 But for what? 🤔

@ThePosieParker I must admit I initially read that as Bi-nonce !!

I’m very worried that someone using an iPhone 7, yep you read that right, is accessing my non existent Binance account in Dublin. Account name Dixie Normous Binance: You have linked a Ledger Live to your Binance API settings. If this was NOT you, please call us at + 442080976372