Francis Cottam

@ColeFusionHQ The General. A group of us used to play the globally territorial board game Risk. He was so hopeless he just had to be known as that - and still is, 30-odd years later.

British nicknames are an unregulated industry. a 5'6 tradesman called Anthony is professionally known as Shetland Tony. a man who lost an eye is called Keth. a quiet man wore a yellow jumper once and became Mumblebee. what's the best nickname you've ever heard

Met the daughter yesterday to buy her some music at HMV. Had such anxiety, felt moved to explain and apologise. She was very understanding and gracious.

Remarked to the daughter, who has autism, that although she doesn't love me, I will always love her. Not true! She responded. Have never felt more elated in my life.

Have bought the daughter a telescope. 'Field of vision is infinite,' was the line that sold me. What more could you offer a 20-year-old young woman? A visit to Hollister, she would say. And Waterstones. And Lush...

@MbarkCherguia She smoked a lot.

What's the first thought that pops in your head? 🤔

This nonsense about what war correspondents are wearing. Did anyone bother about what Lee Miller wore? Martha Gellhorn? Ernest Hemingway? Robert Capa? Some people just have too little to do and way too much keyboard time.

Writing a novel. People who don't do this probably think it a straightforward process involving plotting and word-count. Well, no. Not when the characters inhabit your mind.

@TheRealJamieKay It's a bap.

This is a cob. Right?

You can get green-Lighted by Hollywood production company. Or messaged by you daughter Avalon (though I call her Sausage) on your birthday. Know which I prefer.

@creator_grimm Two. It's payback time, and There's something big going down. Michael Mann has a lot to answer for #MiamiVice

What is your most annoying movie/TV cliche? Mine is when a character finds car keys tucked under a windshield visor. Who sticks their keys there? And why does this insanity persist?? What’s your most annoying cliche or trope?

No idea why my home town is called Southport. It's north of Manchester and Liverpool and sited on the west coast of the country. And it was never a port. A mystery.

Really like BBC Radio 4. Great current affairs shows always with illuminating guest experts. But The Archers is an odd anachronism and the comedy shows leaden and unfunny. An odd mix, all told.

@Parody_PM His Greggs sponsorship should see him through.

Looks like Mike Graham has been sleeping in a skip since he got the boot for pretending to be hacked by racists.

@EssexPR Nope.

I think I must be the only person in the UK that has never watched a single Traitors show…

@oelma__ Gertrude.

Can someone suggest a super old-fashioned girl name Not Elizabeth

@MrTibblesNewEra @Andrew33080654 Went to a large Catholic comprehensive in Southport in the 1970s. Never even saw a poppy. Though my father, who'd fought with the Lancashire Fusiliers, attended the annual commemoration at the cenotaph.

I went to a public school (which was mainly RAF and army kids) and was never checked to see if I had a poppy. What school did you go to? @Andrew33080654

Writing a novel in which everything is seen from the perspective of a 20-year-old young woman. Kind, intelligent, principled, feminist. Rather reminds me of my daughter. Have never enjoyed a writing experience more.

@prodnose @nigetassell Robert Palmer's Through it All There's You was just over 12 minutes long. Didn't outstay its welcome, either.

@nigetassell Like Prog never happened.

Or the works of Fela Kuti. Or Cornershop's majestic Spectral Mornings. Or Paddy McAloon's equally majestic I Trawl The Megahertz. Or...

@DrMatthewSweet A Plantagenet prince might have got away with it 600 years ago, but this boorish, amoral idiot in today's world was always on borrowed time. Just a shame it took so long.

Mr Windsor. Astonishing. Unprecedented?

Fancied Parker and like him as both a person and a fighter but don't think the stoppage was premature. He wasn't out on his feet, but he was clearly out of the fight. Wrong to blame the ref.