Brandon Follick

online stores love to say “your order is on its way!” then when you go to the tracking number they gave you all of a sudden it’s “can you fucking relax?? we just printed the label..”

.@DAFComedyFest is partnering with @TheOnion again for another weekend of free writing workshops! If you’re eligible and interested, apply here diversesatireworkshops.com/fall-2025-appl…

@gabywilson Thank you!

When you go to the hospital and they give you that little bracelet, that’s so you can get into the afters

The New York Times is genocidal, transphobic, pro-billionaire propaganda and we all need to cancel our subscriptions… …Anyway here’s my 10 favorite films 🤪

Just boarded a plane… my pilot hasn’t seen the second season of the rehearsal….

I’ve been starting all my corporate workplace emails with “Hi divas” to boost morale

They took the photo down

Who wants to tell her (that modern family was an unscripted reality series)

what’s the move tn

Woman Shocked by Her Low Account Balance Despite Having No Budget, Goals, or Self Control: ow.ly/FVMt50VnNKn

Woman Spends Entire Vacation Hating the Outfits She Packed: ow.ly/Ss7K50VkizU

I wrote this after having an experience :)

She’s so codependent omg

We are getting extremely close to the best day of the year.... tickets are going extremely fast: publictheater.org/productions/jo…

I wrote this with a heavy heart

Jealous? This Snow Is Getting Plowed: ow.ly/1qgN50UzCnr

Hi! I'm a little out of touch with the NYC independent standup scene (because of aging), but if you run a show, I'm working on some new jokes and I'd love to tell them there!! Thanks! :)

Delta Airlines delayed my flight

Why does every nyc apartment lease look like it was written in ancient times (2004) then photocopied over and over again until it achieved a barely-decipherable quality

the chanukahstravaganza is back and as big as ever!!! this year featuring: @follickacid @HireMeImFunny @carsonolshansky @MarciaBelsky @leiby_alison & Liza Treyger at brooklyn art haus on dec 27!!! 🕎 produced by @leahgwilliams!