Adrienne 🫛

I'm in my mischievous little imp era. I'm gigglepilled. I'm teeheeheemaxxing

But she did. She liked him, initially. Then, she was disturbed by her own emotional response to the way he was acting, so she found a way to get more information about his feelings towards her. She processed that information and used it to make a decision. None of this was arbitrary

@formerly____ @TheHeadless235 she shouldn't need to mess with him like that to know "i just don't like this guy very much" but that's a much more honest way to frame this than the 'weak man detected' stuff. some women need to characterize a guy as flawed because they aren't comfortable owning the choice

Gender discourse is the worst, but this is just sad. A 13 to 14 yo guy like this thinks his girl just gave him a “quest” to prove himself. Like telling a puppy to fetch, then abandoning the puppy after they bring stick back. Where are all the good men? You trained them out of it.

@CherryBoysss @stlkaman23e @earnestpost If I asked my bf if he would take a bullet for me and he was like "ok!" and then went out and got shot intentionally to prove his devotion, I would probably break up with him if he lived

@CherryBoysss @stlkaman23e @earnestpost She requested he listen to a song on the radio. Neither one of them knew it wouldn't play until 3am. He demonstrated a willingness to go to extremes to fulfill a pretty frivolous request. It demonstrated some things that made her like him less

How are they so evil so young. What the fuck

@BillSee63 @earnestpost Where is the lie, exactly?

@formerly____ @earnestpost You're talking about earning trust ... but I'm never going to trust somebody after they lied like that. Not interested in your trust after you lied.

@okayfineAaron @earnestpost Thank you!

@formerly____ @earnestpost Just to save everyone following along some time, here's her ultimate response after someone pointed out how patently stupid and pointless the entire thing is.

Agreed! That's why I wish we could all be more honest about this without slipping into "women evil" or just pretending it doesn't happen. I think a moderate amount of non-cruel shit testing early in a relationship is load bearing, actually. You're potentially handing someone a lot of power and you need to be able to model how they might weild it. This goes both ways!

@formerly____ And that’s totally understandable. Women need to use their advantages in the “battle of the sexes” using their mind and intellect to protect themselves. But that useful ability can turn to cruel manipulation like a man can turn strength into abuse.

@remedy @TheHeadless235 It means that he was more emotionally invested in her than she was capable of reciprocating and breaking up with him was probably a kindness

@formerly____ @TheHeadless235 You are showing that you don’t understand how many men want to show women they care for her through acts of devotion. The situation you describe is “lovely girl who I like wants to share an experience with me” and the problem is you are completely misinterpreting what this means

@pipmade__ Personally I would be horrified if I thought a guy would just uncritically do whatever I said just because I said it, even if he only did it for me. Everyone is different, though

Yes but the thing is, he could be suggestible to her only but not so much with the rest of the world, i know the game is the game but i dont really see why a woman would get icked out by that if he loves her and gives her that love by listening to her & adoring her

Girls are having a lot of things about boys explained to them. How to recognize manipulative and controlling behavior, what to do if you encounter it, certain things that boys/men may frame as reasonable asks that actually are not. I think this might be more normalized because it's framed as resisting pressure to have sex

@formerly____ It isn’t something you can just explain to a 14 yo boy, I think. It’s something they have to learn, just like girls learn about boys. There are just gender differences we have to learn and get a few scars from before we find someone genuine, without playing love games.

I'm unironically asking because I have never been a boy: what do you think would happen if we taught boys that sometimes girls will try to see how you act in a situation by creating a low stakes version of that situation, and that it's usually neutral information gathering behavior? (Also, I don't think girls and women are the only ones who do this, but that's a different conversation)

@formerly____ They will learn, for sure! But it’s usually learned through heartbreak and distrust. Boys that age are simple and are always looking to prove themselves. Eventually they stop caring and turn to “the bad boy” routine which usually completes the cycle of the gender trauma exchange.

lmao

@SululuXD @MetaphysicE @earnestpost It's impossible to prove that this isn't true, but it is possible to get useful information from shit tests. My proposed scenario was one way where that could have happened here, that's all

@formerly____ @MetaphysicE @earnestpost Personally, I think she was no longer attracted to him, pushed the shit test because it was the most ridiculous thing she could think of in the moment to serve as petty revenge for having to deal with his feelings, and then pretended like his participation aided her decision.

@michelleakin I do this all the time and I never considered until right now that anyone would find it odd or assume I interpreted whatever they said as an apology. curious

ever have someone say “that’s alright” when you weren’t apologizing? recently I had the exp of declining an invitation with a simple “can’t today” and receiving “that’s alright” or “no worries” as if I had said “sorry.” I get that perhaps the apology is implied, but 🤔

@SululuXD @MetaphysicE @earnestpost I've given this topic way too much of my time. My point is, she got information about the kind of person he is and how he handles certain scenarios and it helped her make a decision. That's all

Would you not question why someone's goal was to have you stay up, potentially all night, to listen to a specific song that may or may not play on the radio? But you're right to question the specific wording, here. The problem wouldn't be that she felt responsible for his actions. The problem is that he acted like she was responsible for his actions.

That's not necessarily true. First of all, she didn't lie. She said she would give him the pic if he did the thing, and he did the thing, so she gave him the pic. It doesn't say anywhere that she told him that if he did the thing she would love him forever or never leave him or even be happy about it. What she did was manipulative! I'm not really defending that aspect of it. She was 14, and this was not graceful. There are a lot of ways he could have handled this that would have demonstrated good character. He could have said he would try and then listened for the song for a normal amount of time, and the next day, told her he didn't hear it but that he would try again. He could have sought out a different way to hear the song. He could have, with grace and good humour, pointed out the flaws in the premise. He could have made a counter offer. He could have politely refused. He could have dumped her on the grounds that she was being manipulative. Each of those would have revealed something different about his character. Maybe they all would have given her the ick. It's impossible to tell. The point is, what he did do gave her whatever information she was seeking to determine that she didn't want to be his girlfriend.

@formerly____ @earnestpost If we look at the calculus of the situation, and what options she gave, we can conclude that she'll only be left with men who see her as a manipulator and liar but still don't leave her side. What would the intentions and character of men who are in that position be?

@SululuXD @MetaphysicE @earnestpost He's responsible for his own actions

@formerly____ @MetaphysicE @earnestpost in your view, is there any way she isn’t responsible for his actions? If he refused her challenge, it is in direct response to it, and therefore she feels responsible. If he does it, then she’s responsible. It’s a Catch 22 pretending to be a shit test to explain attraction lost.

@SululuXD @MetaphysicE @earnestpost He was never required to do what she asked. That's the point. She could ask him to do literally anything, but he's the one who is responsible for whether he does or doesn't do it

@formerly____ @MetaphysicE @earnestpost How was she made to feel responsible for his actions? He asked for a photo, and she created a requirement of action. She made herself responsible for his actions, he didn’t do that!

@MetaphysicE @earnestpost He didn't actually do that, though. That part only happened in your fantasy.

@formerly____ @earnestpost "But she might have felt more comfortable with him if she wasn't made to feel responsible for what he did or didn't do" Bеаting. Rаping and bеаting.