Gary Armstrong

@AJSSmith90 Well done Al. Great time, must have had the crocs in sport mode. 🐊

Another year, another half marathon ticked off. Starting to get the bug for this running lark. Also, not a bad venue to finish at #MCRHalf #OldTrafford

@sid_lambert @CraigA_1967

Once a year I remind myself of this tremendous Totti chip vs Inter in 2005. Today is that day. Heavens Above. What a fucking golazo…

@CheapPanini @bruntonbugle @CraigA_1967

CARLISLE UNITED got promoted. Time to bring them back down to Earth. We're trying vainly to draw the entire playoff-winning Cumbians squad in the space of 12-ish hours. It isn't going well. #CUFC This is Owen. We owe him an apology. RTs appreciated but not encouraged x

@ufcfooty @TheStableboy

Since you loved it first time round… Let’s take a look at some more of the best Tifos in football A thread 🧶

@ThrimbyFarms @innerirving you having to save Tony every other day

This cow has been with us for 7 years, she’s calved every year. She’s one of the quietest cows on the farm. This is why you should never trust any of them. Last night wasn’t a good one. Dani is ok, just bruised, but if she was lone working it could of been different. Hellish.

@fesshole @innerirving @Toombrian this could definitely be @paul_edmo

I paid £25 for a shitty lap dance in an Aberdeen strip joint. When I say shitty what I mean is the stripper left a skid mark on my chinos.

He guided Carlisle United to back-to-back promotions as a player-manager in 2006. On his return to the club last February, he steered the Blues to safety. This campaign, he's made their promotion dreams a reality, sitting 3rd with six games to go. A phenomenal turnaround. #CUFC

@ufcfooty @TheStableboy

II Capitano made his AS Roma debut 30 years ago… Let’s have a look at The King of Rome’s best ever goals 👇

@innerirving @NoContextBrits Prep time. Game changer

@NoContextBrits @gabor_17

Any AutoBiography recommendations? Is Harry’s actually worth a read?

@fesshole @innerirving just tell him. Don’t spread it on here

My husband insists upon calling my penis a willy and it's completely killed our sex life.

@nocontextfooty @TheStableboy

@NoContextBrits @Toombrian this was you in Lanzarote 15 year ago lad?

@90sWWE @TheStableboy

@Dave_B84 @SkyBetHelp Agreed! Can clearly see the keeper saves it but a corner isn’t awarded. This shouldn’t mean the SOT doesn’t count!

@TheStableboy @secondtierpod Seen that 😂😂😂😂

@secondtierpod @gabor_17 😂 never joke about one of Warnock's Boys!!!

The Oscars were crazy last night

@aleaguemen @BesartBerisha7 @IsuzuUTE @TheStableboy legend of the game

236 appearances. 142 goals. 2 premierships. 4 championships. Bonafide A-Leagues legend, @BesartBerisha7, has officially announced his retirement from football. Besart, for all the memories, thank you ❤ 👑 #WeAreALeagues @IsuzuUTE

I never want to see Martial in a United shirt again, absolute rubbish from him again, on the plus side Donny showed given the chance, he is much better than Fred.

@innerirving Chuck him 🐄

I feel like being offered a cup of tea and then never actually receiving it is worse than never being offered one in the first place. #DivorceWorthy?

@innerirving @NoContextBrits There’s been a few times where the old helix ruler has came out for a measurement like. Non-shatter ruler of course.

@NoContextBrits @gabor_17 this has you written all over it