King of the Gingers

@MattsX I never did and I'm a teacher, so I've been hearing it everyday for the past year.

@gingertophat I never understood it

Student: keeps calling me bro Me: "I'm not your bro." Student: "Yeah, you're my brother because you're a child of God." well okay then

@BigDickBarclay King, all your filter posting motivated me to go out last week and buy and replace my filter and buy two extra ones for later.🫡

All right you disgusting heathens. One of the biggest questions I get asked at work and on here is what kind of filter you should purchase for your central air. My answer is that, in general, I really like pleated paper filters that are Merv 8 or Merv 10. You still get the filtration of a pleated paper filter without a ton of extra static pressure. While this tweet has legs, if you comment your filter size under here, I will get you an affiliate link on Amazon so you can order a bunch of them at once for pretty much the lowest price on the planet.

@BENZOTOOIE Give it a good wash and then go get a room.

Got my car back after those mechanics had their nasty hands all over her

>DO NOT watch the show about male bonding, fatherhood, pride, honor, mercy, strength and ceaseless self improvement. >DO watch sleezy modern teen drama about being terrible

@BigDickBarclay I mean, I don't have the experience so I wouldn't know. But if you say so

Can we all agree that threesoms just aren’t that fun for the male participant? More of a spectator kinda sport.

@BigDickBarclay @Jonlikesburgers Ooh those are the best days because then you can just do your work and nobody bothers you.

@Jonlikesburgers Actually, it was great because I didn’t talk to anybody

Hey man the office lady says you didn’t talk to anyone this morning. You just turned in invoices and went to your first call. Everything okay? …

@BigDickBarclay Office lady should mind her own business.

@BENZOTOOIE Smart kid. She knows not to tell people her grandpa is in Kevin.

My 4 y/o, apropos of nothing: So HEAVEN is where paw-paw and Jesus are and KEVIN is the big minion. I get it!

doubt it because I'm the stalker.

These are all different channels done by different people but they all basically have the same avatar. Why is that?

I've been watching a lot of weightlifting videos on Youtube (because I want to be big & strong) and something I've noticed is a lot of these channels have the same avatar where it's just this muscular solid colored dude with white eyes and a symbol on his forehead.

@BENZOTOOIE You living the good life!

Mrs. KAZOOIE is two weeks postpartum, soft round tummy, big milky tits, this is peak female form.

@ingelramdecoucy My dad's method of getting guest out of the house is to go outside and show them the garden. The thing is the last few years, my dad hasn't had a garden.

The best thing about having friends over to play games or to share a meal with them is when they finally all get the Hell out of my house

@BigDickBarclay Yes and one day hopefully, I will get to experience there majesty perky glory.

Manifest Breast-tiny

@Kurtis1978 @BigDickBarclay I'm just doing my part supporting the HVAC posting king 🫡

@BigDickBarclay "50-100 people will like just about anything I tweet (thanks kings)" 🫡

Everyone’s talking about a giant bot purge but my following hasn’t really gone down. Maybe I’m not large enough to notice a difference. About once every couple weeks I’ll lose about 50 to 200 followers all at once and I just assume that’s bots getting purged. But that’s been happening for years. I don’t even really understand why I have so many followers to begin with because maybe 2000 people consistently like my good tweets. 50-100 people will like just about anything I tweet (thanks kings) so like what are the other 40k people doing?

@BigDickBarclay If you're everything, I'd say give her more of you, but if she's already pregnant than she's already getting more of you.

What can you possibly get the woman that has everything? (Me)

Ladies, I know I give you lots of guff on here, but I’m calling in a favor. I want to do something really cool for my wife for our anniversary this year, but I can’t think of anything really cool or special off the top of my head. I would like advice from the bean nut gallery.

Science: A system of asking questions to reach a conclusion. Reddit Science: "The Science TM, has not told us the answer yet, so you can't ask this question"

@BENZOTOOIE She's going to remind us again in 15 years that she's still choosing not to have kids.

She’s really doing the “That’s right! I, a millennial woman, don’t want kids!” bit in 2025+1