shane: so we’re fucking raw because you think i’m on the pill, but i’m actually lying about it.
ilya: and i poked a hole in the condom 😁
shane: no, ilya, i’m the one baby-trapping you tonight. you got to do it last week.
ilya: okay so we're two rival hockey players who fell in love during their rookie season and hid their situationship for over a decade while they grappled with their own deep feelings for each other
shane: ilya that's just what happened
ilya, on the verge of tears: i love u :(
shane: okay so you fuck me while im asleep but if i make any sound or move or any indication im awake you full stop and refuse to acknowledge this is happening
ilya: remember when you could barely say the word dildo
Luca at the pearly gates: Heyyyy God
God: Hey girl so look its really straightforward the one rule is you can never have read fanfic about your teammates who were rivals being secret lovers a decade before they came out.
Luca: Ok Listen🤦♀️
the way he covers his nipples, the boxer shorts, his pretty face with blushed cheeks as he looks down.. this would be such a serve as a gay magazine cover in the 80s and 90s
guys I’m crying I’m at the gym and someone who works here was helping me set something up and she asked what I do for work and I said I make tv show trailers and she was like did you hear about that one fan editor who got hired by hbo and I was like yeah that was me 😭😭😭
stripping down to check if your jacket fits your buff best friend while you’re smoking together… is that rpf material or just standard bestie behaviour asking for a friend