Bored Ape

@RachelReevesMP Embarrassing - taxing people into poverty and giving freeloaders everything

Minimum wage rising 📈 State pension increasing 💷 Two child limit abolished 🏡 Child poverty falling 📉 Rights at work strengthened 💪🏻 Labour promised change. We are delivering change. theguardian.com/commentisfree/…

@MediaSOI @RestoreBritain_ might have a thing or two to say about this

Restore supporters If in 2/3 years it becomes obvious that it’s Reform v Greens at the next election, would you lend your vote to Farage?

@SkyBet How is bowens shot for the first goal not counted as an assist?! Clowns

Mateus Fernandes (90+3') ⚽️ Axel Disasi (90+6') ⚽️ Two goals in injury time have drawn West Ham level! ⏱️

Ozempic proved that the "body positive" people wanted to be in shape all along, they just weren't willing to work for it.

🚨Tonda Eckert (Southampton manager) after 2–1 win against Arsenal in the FA Cup quarter-final “We won today because we’re the only team that actually played football. They don’t play—they survive on set pieces, corners, and throw-ins. No real tactics, no identity. And people are calling them Premier League leaders? I still can’t understand it. If they win the league playing like this, it would be a disgrace to football.”

Probably the worst comment of all time by a pundit. It was horrific at the time but just becomes more and more embarrassing.

“Ireland didn’t colonize anybody; they were a colony. They suffered terribly. They were willing to be brutalized, occupied, starved, all of these things for centuries to defend their little slice of the world, and yet Ireland is on track to be a minority Irish by 2070. I don’t like that. People think diversity means every place in the planet should look like Jackson Heights in NYC, but that’s not diversity at all. Diversity is that when I go to Ireland, it’s Irish.”

@MrBoldOne @EmiratesFACup Enjoy your quadruple, pal.

See this one rattled a few cages 😬😂 To everyone screaming abuse into their phones… I don’t care. To everyone who unfollowed me… I don’t care. To all the new followers… Welcome, it’s good to have you here 💪

@MPX_Player @RavenSoftware Get some friends

Playing Verdansk Quads w/ Randoms has been the worst experience.. My teammates are absolute garbage or have no mics and we're up against top 250, level 1,000, haven't washed their ass in weeks players.. BRING BACK SOLOS! @RavenSoftware 🗣️🗣️🗣️

🚨🎙️ Jose Mourinho on Liam Rosenior Suspending Enzo Fernandes : “You say Madrid is beautiful. Of course it is beautiful. Paris is beautiful. London is beautiful. But beauty does not win you titles. Mentality wins you titles.” “When I was at Chelsea, my players did not speak about other clubs. Why? Because they were too busy winning.” “You want Real Madrid? Real Madrid is not a holiday destination. It is pressure. It is history. It is responsibility.” “At Madrid, if you play one bad match, the fans whistle. Two bad matches, the media kills you. Three bad matches… you are finished.” “And now you are talking about them while your team is suffering? This is not leadership. This is distraction.” “You don’t flirt with another club when your house is on fire. First, you put out the fire.” “Also… let me teach you something. Real Madrid does not buy players because they say nice things in interviews. They buy players who dominate big games.” “So… less talking about Madrid. More playing like a Madrid player.” “Because right now? You are not there.”

Please explain why Norway has a booming oil and gas industry and ours is dead? This isn’t incompetence. It's treason.

@HassCFC @TheChelseaForum Obviously Ashley Cole ffs not even close

All in their prime, who would you start in a final?

Dear apple we can’t use our watches at night for the sleep data because it doesn’t have enough charge. We have to charge it while we’re sleeping

I admit it - I thought VAR would make a positive difference. I was wrong. I think we should scrap it. Not tweak it. Just scrap it. Looks like a lot of you agree. nytimes.com/athletic/71560…

John Terry; “What was the issue between you & Rafael Benitez? Terry said; when he arrived at the club He’d be addressing the players saying ‘at Liverpool we do this and we did this and this is how we do things and blah blah blah, So I was like, gaffer, we don’t speak about Liverpool and by the way, we’re the ones dominating the last five, six years. We need to get going again, but we don’t want to hear about Liverpool. We played Man City in the FA Cup, I think it was the quarter final and. I was on the bench against Man City and I think we lost 2-1 but we came in after the game and he addressed the group and said, ‘ah guys it doesn’t matter, we’ve got another big game at the weekend’. I was like ‘f***ing hell, that’s accepted? No chance that’s accepted’. He accepted us losing to Man City and I was across the dressing room coming towards him and all of the lads are pulling me back and he’s now walking towards me and we’re trying to get at each other. I was like ‘no, that’s not accepted at Chelsea, maybe at Liverpool it’s accepted to lose a quarter final but at Chelsea that’s not accepted’.

I am delighted to officially become Restore Britain's first Member of Parliament. I intend to be one of hundreds at the next general election.

In a world of Gary Neville’s Be a John Terry 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

@Arden_2210 18

If you solve this, your IQ is high 🔥 What should come instead of ?

@1ssve It’s so fucked

WTF is going on with the iPhone keyboard? I can barely type on it without every word having a typo.