Graeme Connelly

There is almost no point in the day when I couldny sit down and smash a fish supper. Even, and this is key, when I have just had a fish supper.

@AndyNipples As long as its vegan obviously

For all your cheese needs, including speciality goats cheese, please see my man @gpconnelly. Any cheese you want, any cheese you'll get. #cheese

@AndyNipples I've been secretly buying and hoarding BLANK for the past 3 years

Sometimes when I eat dry roasted peanuts I feel like I have a mouthful of baby teeth

@AndyNipples She's a dick

@gpconnelly I do love Theresa May though. She's a lovely woman.

The sooner we get bidets as standard in Scotland the better

@AndyNipples You'll know it when you hear it

@gpconnelly Haha I still don't have a clue what you're talking about. Never heard it.

For ages I thought it was 'hire faster with warners' I see now that it is 'higher faster' makes sense now

@AndyNipples That's the one. But it's not hire faster. It's highhhher fasterrr

@gpconnelly Oh aye. Mind you talking about it! It's 'hire faster with Werner'

@AndyNipples You know it. Nothing else is quite as refreshing. The Europeans know how it's done. Shame about brexit. So unlikely to come to Scotland now

@gpconnelly Oh yes! Love a wee skoosh on the hole.

@AndyNipples There's a radio advert. It goes 'hiiiier fasterrr, with waaaarner' it's nippy as fuck.

@gpconnelly What are you talking about?

@JellicoSherwyn @AndyNipples @wisey30 @DadJokeMan @BantFiendBongo Never been to London

Lord Nelson was about 5ft 6. His statue is 17ft 4. That’s Horatio of about 3:1

@AndyNipples @BantFiendBongo @wisey30 @DadJokeMan @JellicoSherwyn Answers now! Alexa how hairy is too hairy

@BantFiendBongo @wisey30 @DadJokeMan @JellicoSherwyn @gpconnelly Hopefully soon. I'd like to know if he really meant vulgar or if #TheTrafalgarComparison is something else. Something better. It has to be. Surely.

@wisey30 @JellicoSherwyn @DadJokeMan I just signed in to say I don't get it either

@JellicoSherwyn @DadJokeMan Don’t get it

@wisey30 @JellicoSherwyn @DadJokeMan I don't use twitter

Fringe time fast approaching :) is it worth starting this up again? Or should I stick to fb?

People’s whole lives do pass in front of their eyes before they die. The process is called ‘living’. – TERRY PRATCHETT

Is anyone still using that twitter?

@Kyleye he stayed last night. Was pretty damn drunk. He and Danny have both gone now tho. I just woke up

@BBCBreaking previous tweet says "evidence right in front of our eyes"