Devin Graber retweetledi
STORY TIME:
While I can’t be totally certain, I’m pretty sure I just had a very important and intense silent treadmill battle with a Buckeye fan at the hotel gym in Indianapolis.
He was dressed in all OSU gear and I was, well, you know. We approached two treadmills at basically the same time. They were right next to each other. We seemed to be going at the same pace roughly. I could feel him looking over to read my screen. He sped up. So, I did too. After that happened a few times, we then entered the endurance phase.
He kept looking at my screen. 20 minutes in. 25. 30. Started at a 6.3 clip but now up to 7.2 mph pace which is faster than I typically or should go. I was going to f’ing die on that treadmill before I let this silent, arrogant, condescending asshole win.
We hit 35 minutes, 40….45. The rest of the fitness center, which was pretty well packed when this war started had cleared out by this point. We were the only two left. Mano y Mano. Rumble in the Jungle. Thrilla in Manila.
I was in flow state. And by flow state, I mean I was having a massive coronary episode and could see the light…but the pain was gone. This was about more than my personal health. It was about all of us.
We hit 47:30 and flew past 5 miles what seemed like ages ago. And I heard something. Actually, it was what I didn’t hear. I didn’t hear the rhythmic pounding of a Buckeye’s stupid feet hitting the speeding belt. The pounding had given way to something softer. Something that was unmistakably…walking!!! And I kept going. Soon, the walking stopped. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw him turn, hang his head in shame and walk off the machine. I heard the door to the fitness center open and close. He was gone. He didn’t even have the class to come back shamefully with those wet wipe things to clean off his disgusting Ohio sweat from the treadmill. He didn’t want to face me again. He didn’t want to face IU Nation again.
My point is…IU wins the Big Ten championship today.
(Also, anyone know a good heart doctor in Indy?)
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