Hang Rounders

@realDonaldTrump First time I’ve agreed with you since you fired Lil Jon.

The restaurant business is being absolutely decimated. Congress should step up and help. Time is of the essence!

@realDonaldTrump Man, really gotta be eating you up to think that even ol’ Slick Bill C. got voted into two terms. FAIL!

How come every time they count Mail-In ballot dumps they are so devastating in their percentage and power of destruction?

@realDonaldTrump Bye bye!

Last night I was leading, often solidly, in many key States, in almost all instances Democrat run & controlled. Then, one by one, they started to magically disappear as surprise ballot dumps were counted. VERY STRANGE, and the “pollsters” got it completely & historically wrong!

Curt with the ol’ sneaky penis in the Denver Post.

Highly specific, targeted, and important tweet incoming. I would love to be able to play Tetris on my very outdated but beloved circular Pebble Time Round watch, but Pebtris only exists for the rectangular ones. Help me, @tgwaste! I will pay you dollars!

Feel like I haven’t exclaimed “they let you in here?!” to any other #dadz in months.

Alright, I’m good on the videos of children playing old timey string music front.

@realDonaldTrump Sitting at home, essentially unemployed w/ my biz (music venue) shuttered for the foreseeable future, listening to John Prine, a hero of mine now dead from this awful & mishandled virus. And this fucking dipshit nincompoop “leader” of ours is spewing nonsense to further division.

Bernie Sanders is OUT! Thank you to Elizabeth Warren. If not for her, Bernie would have won almost every state on Super Tuesday! This ended just like the Democrats & the DNC wanted, same as the Crooked Hillary fiasco. The Bernie people should come to the Republican Party, TRADE!

There’s a lot of stuff I don’t like about @ChickfilA, but there is one thing I really fuckin’ love.

I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but Tracy Chapman rules.

Me: “Why are everyone’s eyes so messed up?” Wife: “They’re fucking hillbillies. They’ve said it several times.” #pbscountrymusic

Tickets for our New Year's shows are now on sale! We play the Hi Dive in Denver with @kidcongopowers and the Pink Monkey Birds, plus the @hangrounders. Join us! bit.ly/30blMns

The Cold Beer, New Mexico 5th Annual Honkytonk Hodgepodge Port-a-Potty Saga. A THREAD

My 4-year-old child: “Do kangaroos always hop? Or do they sometimes walk?” 🤷‍♂️

HTHP V lineup announced at honkytonkhodgepodge.com - a DIY fest my friends and I throw every first weekend of August in at Colfax Tavern in Cold Beer, NM. All ages, many genres, free to attend/camp and this year with more shade. Come through/help out #honkytonkhodgepodge

Y’all. I have extensively tested this and the perfect microwaved popcorn time for pretty much any brand is 2 minutes and 18 seconds.

Just bought an Alexa and took a few hours to notice that I’ve been saying “please” and “thank you” to it. Then I felt weird.

The only reason I wish I had another kid is so that it could beat the crap out of my current kid.

I hate pooping places where the floor is wet.

i think you want a comma in there