Hank Hill

Yeah, well I was too excited too sleep, I tell ya what... I'm going to visit my in-laws!!

"One-legged turkey"? I'm not even going to dignify that with a response... other than shame on you.

I'm gonna write a personal check and in the memo line I'm gonna write "unfair".

Ugghh... They let that woman bring an oxygen tank on the plane...

Now this doesn't leave the alley, but Peggy's parents want to go to a restaurant for Thanksgiving.

Now see here! Thomas Jefferson was a Founding Father! He designed and built his own house!

Uhh, there's something we haven't told you Bobby, but maybe now's the time. Ya see, showbusiness is inherently evil.

Only old people need glasses to read. I use mine to run and jump.

The word is "roadie" Bobby. He meant roadie. At least I hope to God.

"Celebration of Local Graffiti Artist"? I'll give ya a headline... "Local Man Cancels Newspaper Subscription."

I like it! This is exactly what those environmentalist should be spending their time! Finding ways to use nature against other forms of nature that are inconvenient to man.

Yep, my dad sure knows how to take care of his cars. When I was a baby he had my moma make me a shammy jumpsuit and I used to crawl around on the hood until it shined like Christmas.

You call this beer? Guatemalica? Who bought this stuff?

Well that's the dangest thing. I've never heard of a solenoid just disappearing before.

Ah you just don't understand him, Peg. See he's a big flamboyant character like a peacock. That's why men love him. But women don't like his style because you all are like the peahen. More subdued and drag.

Ugh... Bobby... if you're gonna fake dial ya gotta hit more than 3 numbers.

Okay, @BobbyHillQuotes, I have some good news, but you have to promise not to squeal like a girl.

My boy is on a TEAM. Not a squad. Not a club. A team.

If Bobby doesn't love football, he won't lead a fulfilling life, and then he'll die.

Maybe you can go out for center. At least then you can put your God given immobility to good use.