nanners

Do you ever think, “would I annoy me?”

Some people have big Mad Hatter energy

I want a boyfriend who treats me as good as @Chewy

I wish grown ass adults got the zoomies

In the south they call hemorrhoids the string of pearls

I fucking knew it.

If “rosebud;!;!” means anything to you, then there was a shrivlet of your childhood that was happy.

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was deep in some bitwork

A real homie will give ya a cheeky swipe of Paris

Love getting my hair done because I get to stare at myself for 4 hours having the worst hair day of my life.

Sometimes I really miss my Neopets

@DadEraMatt SynthL0rd

I would’ve NEVER guessed this guy would leak government war secrets…

let’s be edgy and take all the vwls out of words

@DadEraMatt I love him!!!!!

“You should really start locking your doors” — My neighbor, standing in my kitchen

One of the most talked about sneakers of the summer

When life gives you demons, make demonade.

Sperm trying to get to the egg. #Superbowl #NFL

@DadEraMatt you’re actually onto something here

The millennial evangelical female to sex witch pipeline