Hannah

I am 6’ tall but if I measured the same way men do, I’m actually 6’3”

Please share.

@fernetadette happy bernday home girl 🌻 hope today is as fun as you are 🤠

Drafting an email to tell my employer that due to the amount of work expected of me vs the amount I’m paid, it’s a little ~weird~ that I just have to keep showing up and doing it every day so I can live inside

I will now be answering “how are you” with what season of greys anatomy I’m rewatching for the 6th time.

Does anyone else watch TV and get sandwich jealous? Like dang, that sandwich looks really a lot like I would like to eat it

Having this conversation while watching greys anatomy. 2005 is alive and well.

I turned 30 and the only difference I’ve noticed is that I’m more willing to make time for naps

What’s annoying to me is when someone is on their healing journey and they decide every moment and every interaction is a moment of honesty and everything has a deeper meaning. No it doesn’t

I just spent 1.5 hours organizing pictures from my childhood and now I remember why they’ve been under my bed in weird livelaughlove boxes for two years. sleep well everyone 💕

I had to order a new pair of slippers and I’m experiencing genuine anxiety over the possibility of them feeling “scratchy.”

Just realized that when having to make or answer work calls, my brain just suggests any greeting or answer I heard my mom use when I was 7, and I am now permanently embarrassed.

@kellzz___ said “see you later, crocodile” as I was leaving the house at 9:45am (obviously I’m still upset about it, as intended). I’m v grateful to have people in my life that get me to my core, but I have to remind myself that some people use that for evil.

Is it acceptable to do a GoFundMe to replace all the items eaten by your puppy?

@Venmo #VenmoMe @Hannah-Oulman-1

The leaves are changing, but we found some green 🤑 Follow and drop your Venmo handle in the comments to enter #VenmoMe Must follow @Venmo. No purch nec. Ends 9/22/22. US only, 18+. Venmo acct req’d. Rules: venmo.com/social/giveaway

The middle aged woman walking around the gym vibing this morning with a handful of snacks is my new role model

Went bowling today and was bested by a 9 year old. Yes, this happened in public and yes, I will hold on to this for years to come.

Me: hiding in my office from a 14 year old kid at work bc they are actively planning on ending my life Also me: *chomping on pb pretzels* I wonder what her enneagram is

please don't protest the laws we made about your bodies at our homes because our homes are private and they belong to us.

On today’s episode of “Shit Kelli Said”: I have a [half] blind dog, you think I can’t communicate with disabled dogs??? I SPECIALIZE in double d’s @kellzz___