Holger

Die SPD ist seit 1863 ein Haufen Scheiße und gehört seit 1863 weg. Es war übrigens die SPD, die 1922 die Abschiebung Adolf Hitlers verhindert hat. Sozialdemokraten halten nun mal zusammen und stehen zuverlässig stets auf der falschen Seite der Geschichte und der Vernunft.

No one is coming to save you.

Farewell Mauersegler! Ab gen Süden, der Winter kommt. #Hitze 😉

Der neue Null Euro Schein - Nix mehr Wert 😂😂

Die EZB sollte sich auch anlassbezogene Münzprägungen überlegen.

Our corporate policy dictates that we replace executive mobile devices every 24 months. This means I have a closet containing 400 perfectly functional older generation smartphones. HR asked me when I was going to contact an e-waste recycling vendor to dispose of them. I told them we can't recycle these devices yet. I explained that the lithium-ion matrices need to undergo a prolonged biometric quarantine. I said we have proprietary company data baked into the deep silicon cache that takes years to evaporate. None of that means anything. Data doesn't evaporate. But HR stopped asking questions immediately. Instead of recycling them, I mounted all 400 phones to a massive piece of plywood in the basement. I connected them to a dedicated power supply and wired them into a segregated VLAN. I wrote a script that forces every single phone to continuously stream a YouTube channel. The YouTube channel just plays 10-hour loops of rain sounds. I own the YouTube channel. I'm generating ad revenue from 400 concurrent U.S.-based viewers. The phones run 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. My localized click-farm is currently netting me about $3K a month in passive income. Last week, the VP of Ops wandered into the basement and saw the glowing wall of screens. He asked me what on earth he was looking at. I didn't even blink. I told him it was a distributed mobile redundancy matrix. I explained that we were stress-testing our cloud infrastructure by simulating high-density mobile traffic. He called it an absolute masterclass in proactive load balancing. He actually took a picture of my click-farm to show the board how innovative we are. The company is paying the electricity bill to power my personal monetization engine. I'm going to use this month's ad revenue to buy a new Herman Miller Aeron chair. I deserve it.

😂😂😂😂

Oh 😮 geht den Österreichern wohl auch so.

My God, they really lied about absolutely everything…

Deutsch ist eine sehr schwere Sprache.

There's a fundamental misunderstanding among the executive board that I'm available to fix critical network outages before 11:00 AM. The primary database crashed at 7:30 AM this morning, right in the middle of my REM cycle. The CEO frantically called my personal cell phone, screaming that the entire customer portal was returning a 404 error. I answered the phone from my bed, deliberately breathing heavily into the microphone to simulate physical exertion. I told him I was currently hanging upside down in an underground maintenance shaft, manually splicing fiber-optic cables with my bare hands. I explained that a sudden seismic anomaly had severed our connection to the regional backbone and I was risking my life to bridge the data gap. The reality is that I accidentally tripped over the main server power cord yesterday while practicing my golf swing in the server room and forgot to plug it back in. I told him I needed exactly 3 hours of uninterrupted radio silence to complete the micro-splicing procedure, or the entire database would permanently shatter. He told me to stay safe, take all the time I needed, and promised to approve a massive catering budget for my department as a thank you. I hung up the phone, slept until 10:45 AM, then strolled into the office and plugged the power cord back in. Crisis averted.

Lol 😂😂😂

Didn't know chatgpt was this based.

Das muss mal gesagt werden …

Das sehe ich auch so.

@realDonaldTrump stfu and keep on destroying the markets. what a f loser

Es ist sehr tragisch.