Amy Jackson

David Harbour will no longer accept roles that do not involve being airlifted out of a Russian Prison.

The Batman was great, however….. Robert Pattinson has one of the most recognizable lower faces. Harder to suspend my disbelief when a whole damn city is just ignoring this jawline like “hmm doesn’t look familiar, I guess we’ll never know who’s under that mask…”

Lol Shaina really can do all things through Christ who strengthens her. #LoveIsBlindS2

@HighKennon @a1_barney I think it’s less that they’re delicious and more that they are shockingly edible

@a1_barney @heyamyj To not only know criminals… but to live with them.. Ali, please let me know if you’re okay.

Do you live with someone that orders a Filet O Fish at McDonald’s? If so you may be entitled to financial compensation.

My boyfriend just shared his Smashmouth Theory: “their world was on fire because they had been walking in the sun” and now I feel… obligated to pass it along?

Why do I hurt the people I love most

My new response to “how are you?” is to talk exclusively about the owl that killed Kathleen Peterson

There are so many things wrong with America and one of those things is the family down the street that lights 47 fireworks at 12:30am on July 5th.

@kasieyoul8r @HighKennon I’m obsessed and in love with both of you.

@HighKennon @heyamyj sporting your triangle clip ons HELLOOOO

These are the faces after being told we took a great picture and the titular great picture.

I boo when my airplane crashes.

I wanna be in the tomb where it happened

Okay this is actually the best news of 2021 so far

@bonnie_cate I feel this. Deep in my aching bones.

@LloydOsten @KMacTWN Ok Lloyd if you find an expert who specializes in throwing boiling water in the air let me know maybe I could get some lessons for next time

@KMacTWN @heyamyj She was obviously not experienced at that. Windchill in Regina is currently at -48. It was -50 earlier this morning...

Did this during 2019’s polar vortex and it resulted in 50% of my scalp in 2nd and 3rd degree burns but hey, I guess that’s why they call it the Windy City 🙃

Waiting for the last tweet of the iconic 4 year bit and just want to say thank you for your service @meganamram

I have no time for these “bad on both sides” sentiments. It’s not the damn same and you have got to know that.

@HighKennon I handed my phone to Ali to show her your tweet and this is the shit she pulls...

@heyamyj Nah. My standards have been raised.

I know some dumb faggot on this bird app is gonna be like, “okay but he can get it.”

There’s a history of invoking “law and order” only to suppress peaceful calls for Black liberation. The military used tear gas to disperse peaceful BLM protesters, yet when a mob of white supremacists storm the Capital, they are merely escorted away. I ask, Law and Order for who?