Noah Saunders

Taking a break from coming up with dad jokes that barely work onstage and trying to have real emotions

Having depression and anxiety doesn’t make people unique or interesting. It’s a normal a thing as there is

This stand up life is fucked up lol

crazy how dudes can hold back tears for a lifetime but cum in 30 seconds

Felt like changing someone’s life tonight

Aliens must be so fascinated with us it’s like they get to check out ancient Egypt going cray

There are no conspiracy theories about other planets being flat

Some of these laid off people bout to try stand up lol

I’m eight years old and i make 800 k a year. How did i do it? Quit drinking, cut out negative people from my life, and optimized my time.

@cam_diggity Lol

Tacos and margaritas are for girl bosses. DON'T get it twisted.

“November scorpios are terrible people. They’re great in bed but they suck at life.”

The restaurants in nyc only hire the best manic depressives

My motivations for staying alive include watching the rest of succession and seeing what kind of kids gen z has lol

It’s unbecoming to hate the generation that immediately follows you, but funny maybe to make fun of the one after that

Was not fully prepared for the amount of hot people in nyc

did it hurt? just all of it generally speaking

I’m just a simple millennial trying to make it in this crazy world

To me people who invest in crypto and people who collected beanie babies are essentially the same

Please greenlight the script where i hunt down the kid who stole my Pogs in present day while we are both in our mid thirties and it turns out his wife runs a mystical christian postive thinking thing and he’s fucked up from iraq and we all end up battling some Q followers

Know your worth, you’re worthless to me but someone out there thinks otherwise.