Tim Grutzius

this was such a fast hour tonight. Everyone one have a safe rest of your week. #ptsdchat

You will. #ptsdchat

@CosmicLifeOfMe the little gains is how we build from our pain. #ptsdchat

#PTSdChat I'll look for the answers in my own case, and I haven't had any big gains; I have had small ones, so I accept those. they removes from me the trauma of feeling like a total failure.

@holisticff I'll relay what is allowed from her soon.

@CosmicLifeOfMe I have no doubt she is working on it. Share this video tonight in the #CuckoosNest meet up. #ptsdchat youtu.be/VfNhFBOdn1g?si…

@holisticff She is working on it. Living through this each time she sees a car with a family inside. She's made progress being in the nest, but of course, it's a lifetime of work.

Warning, this is heartbreaking! #PTSdChat D B: I was freaking out because my favorite doll had been left in the car when my dad brought a new one. I carried on so badly that he decided to go back to the dealership to get the doll.

@CosmicLifeOfMe I know you do. I offer healing vibes your way. #ptsdchat

@holisticff I try. But every firework explosion reminds me of the sound of that car crashing down on him. It's a peace-shattering experience each time my ears hear it. Each time, every single one.

Warning! #PTSdChat D B: I carry this loss so deeply and so personally that I can't imagine having a single moment of my life where it's not fresh in my mind.

@holisticff I will relate this in tonight's #CuckoosNest meetup. Thanks, Tim.

@CosmicLifeOfMe Thanks, brother. I hope this discussion can help her to choose how she will build from this pain, no matter how long ago it happened. #ptsdchat

Warning! #PTSdChat D B: My younger sister and brother went with my father to get the doll back. On the way to retrieve the dial, they were in a car accident my little brother was killed. I've never recovered from that loss. I am the reason my little brother was killed.

@tanya_dixon @TruthPathing Thank you my friend. #ptsdchat

Evening! How is everyone? #ptsdchat

@CosmicLifeOfMe Continue to be his eyes to the world. #ptsdchat

@holisticff Lammy would have wanted me to carry on, not give up, not be sad, but I have only been able to accomplish one of those requests. I'll keep working on it. For my sake, and to his memory.

#PTSdChat to this very day, that particular date on the calendar? As I see it approaching, everything in me wants to shut down and cease to exist. I've been working on that for 41 years now, and I'm no closer to figuring out how to deal with it any other way than I do right now.

@CosmicLifeOfMe This is a very powerful and life altering experience. #ptsdchat

@holisticff She has related that her dad was severely injured in the crash, the doll was brought to the house, but she had her mom give it away as a donation. It was too painful for her to look at.

@holisticff Over the years, I've accepted the inevitability of being in that place each year. I need to accept who I am now, after his death, and still remember the brightness that his life gave to me. It was a gift I can't allow grief to erase.

Here is the powerful scene between Shea and Elsa #ptsdchat youtu.be/VfNhFBOdn1g?si…

@CosmicLifeOfMe Yes it can be, especially when I child is involved. It is not the natural order of things for a child to leave this world before their parents. #ptsdchat

#PTSdChat I developed an angry type os synicism after that afternoon's tragedy. For years, I ate my insides, not letting light touch my darkness. I was devouring myself by pieces. Loss can be overwhelming.

@CosmicLifeOfMe A case of someone who did know what to say but did so anyway. That was show sympathy versus empathy for a parent who lost his child. #ptsdchat

#PTSdChat It was suggested that I "grin and paint a smile on my face, so as not to bring others down." Can you believe a minister would make this suggestion to me, while my son was being funeralized? I was stunned beyond description!